All of my life all I wanted to do was be a doctor. While the different types varied by season, whether it be dermatology or psychiatry or an ER doctor, the mere concept of being a doctor has always made me light up inside. As time passed from the beginning of high school to now, I became more particular about the type of doctor I wanted to be. I realized I am not all about the gory stuff and I really wanted regular office hours to go along with this busy life I am planning to have. As my ideas narrowed down, I graduated high school knowing for sure what I wanted to do: Psychiatry.
As I got to college, I avoided taking a math just because I took Calculus 1 in high school. Not that this course was hard, but I did not see any harm in taking a break. Throughout this year, though, I realized how much I missed the problem solving and the abundance of numbers running through my head. As I headed to my first advising session, the idea of accounting popped up into my head. I had never considering accounting before just because the idea of sitting at a desk doing taxes all year made me want to die (no offense to any accountants). Now I was thinking about accounting all the time and I was really starting to freak out. What happened to my dream plans of being a doctor? What kind of job would I get majoring in accounting? The stress I first experienced coming in as undeclared was recurring, and I did not like it.
I go into my advising session, and my advisor lit up when I told her about my love for math. She immediately signed me up for all business and math classes. I left the session feelings excited, but also extremely worried about whether this is really what I wanted to do.
A few days later, I went home for the weekend to hang out with my dad. The topic of declaring a major was brought up, since he is always nagging at me about when that is going to happen. I told him about my advising session, and he immediately began in on the typical spills any dad would give about their child's future. He told me about how I have always wanted to be a doctor and how I have got such a good "head on my shoulders" and I "can do whatever I set my mind to", typical for dads to say. While I was listening, the idea of applying to medical school and not getting in would not get out of my head. I realized that this fear of failure was the thing holding me back from the idea of having my dream job. It was holding me back from declaring a major and it was keeping me in on my stress.
I finally had another meeting with my advisor and changed my classes back to biological science classes. After this session, I knew I wanted to be a doctor and I am going to do whatever it takes to reach that goal. My advice to anyone struggling with this same issue is be confident. Ignore all of those negative thoughts and the voices telling you that you cannot succeed, because you CAN do anything you set your mind to.