This time last week, my story and experience with COVID-19 had just come out.

I'm blown away by the support I've seen with views and loved ones that have reached out to and supported me. It definitely helps humanize me, which is something I've been missing that I've needed to function lately.

I was just a number. Not a person, but something that needed to be kept away from humans at all costs. Not someone.

I don't think I accepted it at first.

I told everyone I was OK. I would be fine, this was just one big annoyance. I just needed to keep away from everyone for a few days and then everything would be OK, right? It sounded so simple.

I was only supposed to isolate for 10 days. On day nine, after not feeling symptoms for over a week, all of a sudden I felt sick. I don't think I truly was, but it bought me another three days in isolation either way.

I kept feeling sick, but it wasn't the virus. I was terrified to leave the room I'd been staring at non-stop for two weeks.

I was hysterical. My parents didn't understand the pressure I felt. They didn't know why I was so scared. They tried to talk me down, but it didn't help.

In a moment of absolute terror and confusion and hurt, I called my school's psychological services phone number. I talked to someone that really helped me understand how I was feeling. They helped me realize that what I'd been going through was traumatic.

I'd never gotten help before then.

I refused to eat dinner at the table with my family even after I was legally cleared to leave my isolation space. My dad wanted to watch "Hamilton" with me. I did, but I was terrified. I sat across the room and wore a mask in my own house the entire length of the musical.

It's been two weeks since I've been around my family after isolation. None of my family members have exhibited any symptoms. I did it. My biggest fear throughout this entire terrifying pandemic was infecting my family. Knowingly driving home to them with COVID-19 was the last thing I ever wanted to do, and probably the hardest thing I've had to do in my entire life. These past two weeks I've held my breath and asked how everyone was feeling every day. But I did it. No one got sick. I cry every time I think about it.

I think I've left my house maybe five times since then. You'd think someone young and usually busy like me would be painting the town and enjoying the summer I have left. Unfortunately, you'd be wrong. Some of my friends and their parents are refusing to be around me or let them come around me until I test negative.

I'm choosing not to get tested again for a multitude of reasons. Number one, I could test positive even up to six weeks after the virus has left my system. The test picks up dead cells as well as positive. Taking a test too early would be wasteful. Cases are going up and more tests are needed. I will not take a test away from someone who needs it more.

I'm the only person that most of my circles know that have come in contact with the virus. And certainly, the first to contract it. People are scared. Not of me, but of the number that I've become. Not a person, but a carrier.

It feels like it's me that nobody wants around, not the virus that I had an entire month ago.

I don't even know how I'd be around people again anyway. I went to visit a friend and her two co-workers and I didn't realize how scared I was to be in public and around others until I was shaking and trying to catch my breath. I couldn't look in anyone's eyes. I couldn't stop moving. I keep thinking how stupid I'd sounded and how weird I'd acted. Even my first interaction with my family when I came out of my room was weird. I didn't feel like talking. My throat was shredded for days after finally talking after half a month of hardly saying a word.

There is so much unknown, including when I will start feeling wholly human again.

I've been relaxing mostly. Trying not to let the pain of everything not being over when the virus left get to me. Lots of "Percy Jackson," "Criminal Minds," and TikTok. Spending time with my family. Adjusting my legs to walking around a house again instead of just one room. Rebuilding my humanity. Reminding myself that I am more than a number, more than a survivor, and more than a stupid virus.

If you or someone you know has been through COVID-19, I feel like this afterward part has been just as hard, if not harder than the virus and isolation. Please reach out to your loved ones. Tell them how much they mean to you and that you can't wait to see them again. Remind them of their humanity, because it's entirely possible that they've lost all sight of it at times, just like I did.

Please continue to wear your masks, wash your hands, and social distance.

You're saving the world even if it doesn't feel like it.

We'll get through this.