My Interracial Relationship
Start writing a post
Politics and Activism

My Interracial Relationship

Why I really don't care what you think.

13
My Interracial Relationship

In the black community, a black man being able to branch out and date another race (usually a white woman) is seen as a big accomplishment. Being with someone who is of a lighter complexion means lighter skinned kids, which means better opportunities for those kids as their lighter skin tone is seen as more favorable.

This, in turn, causes these same men to turn around and treat black women like they are worth next to nothing. We are believed to be insubordinate to our lighter skinned counterparts especially the ones in our own race. When I was younger, I was constantly called a tar baby, a slave, gorilla, and my personal favorite a roach. But my lighter skinned friends were always praised and thought to be the epitome of black beauty. Despite the fact that these black men are simply self-hating, these ideals are somehow turned back onto us. Somehow it's a black woman's fault as to why black men don't like us.

But on the other hand, a black woman who branches out and dates a man of another race is seen as a traitor. A black woman is expected to stick by a black man's side no matter what. Through all the slurs, put-downs, and disrespect, "a black woman's place is with a black man". Matter of fact, a large majority of the anti-black comments I've received have come directly from black men themselves.

A lot of this seems like pretty old-fashioned thinking, right? Oh, you'd be surprised.

I knew from the very beginning that the relationship between me and my boyfriend was something that was a little taboo. People still react strange to others dating outside of their race, but to see a black girl with an Asian guy is something that's really strange. When I first told my friends back home, a majority of them who are black, I got an unimaginable amount of backlash. Before I could even get a few words out about who he was, my friends in our group message were blowing up my phone with texts making fun of not only me and my relationship, but my boyfriend too. I'm a person with pretty thick skin so the comments don't bother me much anymore, but hearing people talk about someone I care so much about hurts.

Even small comments like "Do your parents know?" or "What does your family think of him?", may seem harmless but definitely aren't. Little things like this, along with others like fetishization and the whole "you're so brave!", spiel are starting to get really, really old.

Even still, in 2016, people want to pin race as a major factor in my relationship. When I look at my boyfriend I don't see someone's who's Asian. I see someone who is funny, incredibly smart, and kind. I see someone who is respectful and tolerant of our differences and embraces them with open arms. I see someone who I know will get me through the bad days and make the good days even better. I see someone who I can grow with and become a better me with. I see someone who is my best friend before anything else. Someone who is quick to judge our relationship for what it is on the surface is really missing out on a truly amazing person.

After being with so many black men who constantly threw me under the bus for being a black woman because of their deep seeded self-hate, it was time I took matters into my own hands. I refuse, absolutely refuse to reduce my own self-worth to next to nothing just to be with someone. It's time for me to be appreciated for who I am. Thankfully, I have that now.

So for anyone who has an issue with me or my relationship; I'm getting the love that I deserve, and that's all that matters. So keep your Jim Crow opinions to yourself.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

43867
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

27603
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

952437
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

149607
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments