Culture shock is nearly always apparent when first getting to a new destination, but upon return, it is just as prominent, if not more. I learned the hard way how much things change once you have traveled.
When you leave for an adventure, or a trip, people always try to give advice for the arrival and duration. They will tell you how to pack, where to visit, how to prepare for homesickness. Rarely, however, will they prepare you for your departure and arrival home. More often, they forget to mention that you leave a part of you there when you return.
You see, my heart lies in two places that are an ocean apart from each other. I have two different kinds of families, two homes, and two groups of friends. The hardest part is that my heart is constantly aching. I cannot have everything I love in one place. It is not possible for me to allow myself to completely settle in somewhere. I am always on the move, and I always feel half full.
When things get tough, sometimes I need my parents. Sometimes I need my boyfriend. I do not know if I will ever have both available to me, though. That plagues me. I will have to learn how to just live with this constant homesickness. I cannot cure it, ease it, or make it disappear.
When I panic over this feeling, I have to remind myself to take a step back. I'm probably one of the luckiest people in the world. I have two groups of people from all different backgrounds who love me and are rooting for me. I have two homes to go to when some people have none. No matter where I am, I have someone to go to, something to learn, and room to grow. Instead of getting anxiety over a potentially difficult future, I realize I need to focus on appreciating now as much as possible.
If I've learned anything from dealing with this dilemma, it's that I have to take everything as it comes and live in the present. If I'm constantly looking towards the future, wondering where I'll be in a few years time, it will only serve to stress me out. No one knows what could happen, so worrying and hurting over it is not the productive thing to do.
My advice to anyone who is about to set out on a trip or adventure is to embrace every emotion and difference in culture that there is. Appreciate the various experiences that are offered in each place, and learn to value the plethora of culture there is across the world. Learn from the people you come across and don't hesitate in relationships solely because you'll eventually have to leave. Get the most out of this journey and be amazed by everything that is in front of you. Don't leave room for stress, anxiety, and heartache when you are beyond blessed. Every second is more special when it's limited.
When you arrive at home, be prepared for a bit of a crash landing. Returning to a place that has seemingly changed a ton without changing at all while you were gone is difficult. Reach out for help if you need it. Try to consider it not as your trip coming to a close, but as an entire new adventure wanting to begin. Look at everything as if it is brand new. Adaptability is difficult, but once it is achieved, there is an entire world to be taken in, explored, and left with little pieces of your heart.
My heart will still hurt from time to time when I'm stressed out in Ireland and need my family that's in Michigan. Over the summer, I'll be desperately home sick for my best friend in Ireland. I'm trying not to think of it as breaking my heart up over the continents, though. Rather, I'm just sharing my love, heart, and passion everywhere I am blessed enough to go. I am lucky enough to be on the receiving end of global love, and that's a pretty special thing to be able to say.