I am already asking for forgiveness for a couple of things:

1. The plot may be superficially touched or a little inaccurate, since I haven’t read about the good Ol’ Joads in two years.

2. I think confession 1 is embarrassing enough, so I may just be well off stopping there.

All I recall are the sensations felt in the tale, rather than the specifics. I still thoroughly remember imagining the disillusionment, uncertainty, sorrow, and the tragic nature of the Joads. Yet, despite it all, they always looked ahead—hopeful that one day, their American dream will cease to exist.

And then I began to reflect on my own dust bowl.

The dust bowl that is senior year, washing away my sanity slowly (but hopefully) not surely. It's coming, oh yes it is, but what can I do about it? As much as I love learning and evolving, I honestly remain intimidated by the world beyond--we all are to some degree. Even adults. I think. Well, if I'm wrong, add that to my list of embarrassing moment(s).

Somehow, at this point in one's life, the end of something is seemingly within reach. And that's because it is. But then again, life was/is/will never stop for anything--not even a milestone such as graduation. We will live on. The start and the beginning then become merely subjective and arbitrary.

And such a rapid reality of being lost and uncertain are what terrify me the most.

The inevitability of such a misfortune happens to all of us soon enough.There will be times where life is seemingly slipping by the palm of your hands, crumbling down into shambles--lost--and into the darkened soil of your mind. Light, life, or anyone type of assistance may never come, in which all you have is yourself. Independence and self-reliance are more crucial than ever, for only you can become truly aware of your ongoing endeavors, desires, and issues.

Talk to yourself, but not loudly. Or actually, scream it to the world, to your room, and to your peers. Release your frustrations. Reflect.

As for me, I have to listen to my own advice now.

Ladies and gentlemen, wish me luck. College applications and life, here I come.

I'll make sure to be there--but I might be late. Ha, only kidding. Let the rest of my life make me realize the vastness of the world as comforting rather than intimidating--a place to call my future and my home.