I was 18 turning 19 and it was one of the most heart-wrenching times of my life. Sitting in my room, confused and bankrupt on any more tears. I slept at the most unusual times, showering when I got the strength to, socializing at the appropriate times. I had never experienced this before.

Heartbreak.

I didn't know I would get addicted to the smell of him and then accustomed to the absence of it.

Rereading texts like it was poetry, studying through pictures to see where I made a mistake, drunk off of times spent together. I went numb, quiet, and cold. It felt like my heart was physically broken. My chest hurt, I would cradle myself in my bed, sobbing and just in pain. I had never felt this type of loss before. It was like experiencing a death.

I was mad at myself, I've survived so much. I thought that I was strong. I heard of my friends going through breakups and stuff but I never really thought it would happen to me. That soul tie I created in the name of "love," thinking that he would fulfill the emptiness I felt. It was like pulling on a rope. I didn't want to let go of him, but the longer I pulled to keep him, the deeper the wound became.

Angry at God, I stopped writing. I thought, if you're taking him away, then I'm taking my gift away. Thinking that I would give God an ultimatum. But here I am, writing. I don't have him and I'm so glad God is faithful to restore things he didn't break.

The only one who can truly satisfy the heart is the one who created it.