No, this is not a typical speech about how this year will be different from the last one. Instead, I will thoroughly express myself and communicate EXACTLY what I want from you. Ready, set, GO!
I have only been on this earth twenty-one years. I have learned so much, I have experienced more things than I can count, some good, some bad, annoying, fulfilling, you name it! In this very moment, I actually know what the hell I want to do with my life. However, I feel a bit... on pause. Well, not even on pause but if my current day-to-day interactions were a movie, I would describe it as the filler material. Something is happening, but it's not too exciting. But, it is necessary for my growth so I won't complain.
Life, you have been so good to me and a bitch all at the same time. I can't explain it, it's like you love me, but you really have somewhat of a crazy ass way to show it. You also taught me that everything I do, and everything that happens to me is all apart of the process. In my head, the "process" is a build up. It prepares you for great, positive, fulfilling things. This too, the feeling of being on pause is apart of the process as well. I am just rolling along, creating a better version of me every day.
I never told you this, or maybe I did, but it was probably done through screaming, frustration, hurt, anger. Not today, today I come in peace. I will say this first, I appreciate you, as often as I can I give thanks for all you have given me. You gave me a good mother, a great group of friends, even people I did not know too well fulfilled me in some way. You taught me lessons, lessons I will ALWAYS carry with me. Thank you.
Now, this is what I want. I want to travel to places I've never been, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I want to become the best Terrion I can be in all aspects of myself. Career-related, financially, emotionally, physically, etc. And yes, I am willing to do the work. I always have been. I want to fully grasp the idea that I can NEVER give up, I MUST continue living and dreaming. Because the moment I stop, I have failed, WE have failed. And honey, I never fail. Failure isn't bad however, I just don't see it as something negative. The very things that we thought we "lost" or "failed" are the very things that are setting us up to move on to greater heights. So no, my time is never over, as a matter of fact, no one has seen my best yet.
Life, I know that there is danger, greed, jealousy, doubt, and fear out in this world. This too is apart of the process. These obstacles may try to trip me, chase me, stalk me, BUT I real ALWAYS have my armor on, ready to fight, then move on to my prize. Because well of course, when will I lose?
Life, throw it all at me, the good, the bad, the ugly. I've defeated your tests before, and I will again, bring it on. May the best woman win.