My younger brother Conner was diagnosed with high functioning autism at the age of four. He goes to school, he has friends, he can function, which is not what most people think of when they think of autism. At first glance he seems to just be a regular kid, sure he has his quirks and he’s a bit of a brat but that’s how every nine year old acts. Except that it’s not. He can appear to fit the mold of “normal” children because he is high functioning and many people only see autism as the extreme end of the spectrum. It doesn’t have to be uneducated people or someone who doesn’t know anything about autism, it can be professionals and family. We went to an autism specialist who spent less than ten minutes with my brother and had decided he was not autistic; we went to an ADHD specialist who said he doesn’t have autism but rather has an array of many different things such as ADHD, sensory issues, anxiety, and so on. She wasn’t completely wrong, he does have all of those things, but any research can tell you that these are all a part of an autism diagnosis.

Other family members try to help with Conner, but they don't always understand what is required in raising and disciplining a child with autism or what Conner needs at that exact moment. Conner does things his way, he needs them his way, and you need to understand that before you can start help him. They think that Conner should "just get over it" when he has an issue. When he "acts up," they blame it on the parents: if you just said no to him you wouldn’t have this problem. That’s funny because no is probably the most used word in my house, the reason we are having this problem isn’t because he is a bratty kid but because he has autism. If you took the time to get to know him you’d see it, you would understand. You can’t see anything from a glance. Give him your time and energy and love and you’ll see so many great things, you’ll be able to understand him more and you'd be able to give him what he needs, your patience, effort, and understanding.

Conner was diagnosed with autism at age four and since then, I have become a third parent to him, he has grandparents to help him but it isn't always enough. He still has bad days and he still needs our help, he still can't be alone in the dark, he can't handle social gatherings for very long. But he's made such momentous progress, it is amazing to see where he is now from where he used to be. He still has things to work on and we will always help him whenever he needs it, but it's important to note that he has come so far. I am proud of him and I hope he is too.