We all get nervous; anxious even. But what if that was your default emotion? What if you constantly had these feelings of fear, nervousness, and anxiousness?

Anxiety is something that I have to struggle with on a daily basis. For me it is something that I have learned to overcome and manage. Anxiety is not “one size fits all”. Everyone experiences and manages it differently.

For me, my feelings of anxiety is like that one friend who never has anything nice to say. They will say things like, “That top does not go with that purse," or, “Wow, I can’t believe you said that, you idiot.” They fill me with self-doubt, dread, and negativity. It doesn’t matter how positive, collective, and awesome I am. Whatever my anxiety tells me I am, I become that.

Another annoying thing anxiety does is that it never lets me forget about that one, not-so significant thing I did five or more years ago at the worst possible time. Anxiety will say to me, “Hey remember that one time the waiter said ‘enjoy the food’ and you said ‘you too’.” And of course, Anxiety would poke and use that insignificant part of my life to ruin my entire day.

Have you ever walked through a haunted house? Anxiety is like that sometimes. There is always something frightening behind every corner. I often live in constant fear of what I say, what I do, and where I go.

I often rehearse what I have to say before I even say it; from ordering from the McDonald’s drive thru to asking a question during lecture (which I never do due to the fear of sounding dumb). When I don’t filter what I say, I often say the wrong thing, stumble over what I say, or it’s taken out of context. This make me more anxious and embarrassed and adds to the pile of random, insignificant occurrences that my anxiety likes to remind me of at two, three, four o’clock in the morning when I’m having trouble sleeping.

My anxiety has two games that it likes to play--the ‘let’s see how long we can keep Danielle awake’ game and the ‘if she’s sleepsing, let’s see how many times can we wake her up’ game. A symptom of my anxiety, as well for many people who have anxiety, is that it is often hard to fall asleep and stay asleep.

With anxiety comes feelings of constant worry, irrational fears, muscle tension, etc., which can all add up to restless sleep. Like that annoying friend, if you have a sleep over with anxiety, they are that friend that never goes to sleep and doesn’t stop talking, hogs all the blankets, and likes to make up annoying games to keep you up all night.

How I deal with my anxiety takes a lot of hard work:

1. I have to constantly be in a state of positivity, especially in times where it’s hard to be.

2. I keep myself surrounded by positive, understanding, and accommodating people.

3. I focus more about the positive than the negative, which again, is easier said than done.

4. I often meditate and take part in activities and clubs to keep me out of my own head.

Anxiety can make you feel like the entire world is on your shoulders. It makes you believe that everyone is up against you and that you are all alone. My anxiety makes me my own worst enemy. I’m much harder on myself than anyone is on me.

I constantly have to remind myself that what I feel or think isn’t actually what is fact or what is true. It’s taken a lot of hard work, self-realization, and the support of my friends, family, and community to be able to manage my anxiety.

I say manage because there isn’t really a cure for something you emotionally feel. You can only control it and not let it shape you negatively.