This New Year's, I'm Going To Start Taking My Own Advice

This New Year's, I'm Going To Start Taking My Own Advice

Out with the old, in with the new.

Every year, I come up with a stupid New Year's Resolution. I never follow through with that resolution. This year, I actually want to follow through.

My New Year's Resolution this year is to let go of all the negative people in my life. Not only that, but to say goodbye to the people who don't put forth as much effort as I do into our relationships (ie. friendships).

I'm always the type of person to care more about someone than they do for me. It always bites me in the ass (pardon my French). I'm tired of letting these people ruin my good moods. I'm tired of not feeling like I'm doing my best to make them happy. These things shouldn't matter!

If I'm truly as important to some people as they say I am, they'll start making an effort. It takes two to have a relationship, not one. I won't be the only one to reach out to people anymore.

I might seem like a total jerk for cutting people out of my life this upcoming year, but honestly? I'm doing it for my sanity. I need to be able to breathe and not worry about what my "friends" think of me because I didn't do something they wanted me to.

I'm the only person that is allowed to judge myself. I'm tired of everyone judging me for being myself. I'm tired of people judging what I do with my life without them actually living it.

The judgment and the rudeness is going to stop. I won't have my friends tearing me down. I'm only human, and I'm not perfect (despite what my boyfriend says).

From now on, I'm going to focus on myself. I'm going to stop letting negativity bring me down. I'm not going to be sad because a friend no longer speaks to me for no reason. I'm not going to let other people dictate my mood.

I'm old enough now to understand why my parents only have a few close friends. You don't need a million friends to feel like an amazing person. The only person you need to make you feel that way is you.

I'm going to start taking my own advice.

Happy New Year.

Cover Image Credit: Aaron Burson

Popular Right Now

I Can't Simply Answer 'Who Am I' Because I'm There's So Much Of Me

Our potential is limitless, but we should work hard as if there is a limit in order to live our best lives.

Too often I get asked the question "who are you?" This mostly has to do with the fact that I have been interviewing for internships like crazy. But this question- it bothers me. Not because I don't have a strong sense of self, but more because there is so much of me. So much that I am proud of, and even not so proud of.

My name is Julia. I am (about) to be 20 years old.

I was born and raised in Boston, Massachusetts; a city that I love so dearly.

I am one of three children; the middle child, although my personality doesn't show it.

I am a feminist; I am passionate about helping other women succeed and flourish.

I am a student; I love school and hope to continue my education as far as I am able to.

I am so many things, some things I have yet to find out. Knowing that there is more in the unknown is okay with me.

The question of "who am I" is asked so often, it is almost as if there is a plausible answer. Almost as if our identities are a fixed, measurable thing. My identity is an ongoing process. There is no definite answer. To know yourself so well would mean that you have reached the top, reached the point where there is no room to grow. And to me, that life isn't a satisfying one. There is always room to improve, no matter how minuscule.

No matter what point of my life, I hope to be content in my growth and progress. Some people believe that there is a point where we stop growing; and I disagree with that notion. Our potential is limitless, but we should work hard as if there is a limit in order to live our best lives.

Cover Image Credit: Julia Sewing

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

I'm Starting To Love Myself And It's The Hardest Thing I've Ever Done

I deserve this.

No, I don't want to do that.

Yes, I'm going to try this instead.

I'm going to learn how to _____.

I'm making these changes in my life to make myself a better person.

Because I want to.

Because I deserve better than this.

In the last few days, I've decided to make a radical decision. After 20 years of self-sabotaging, self-sacrificing, and overall making other people happy at my own expense, I've decided it's finally time to learn how to love myself.

This decision came out of the blue the other day and, while it'd probably be better to implement these changes one at a time, I've decided to dive into the deep end and start loving myself at every step along the way.

Yesterday this meant buying fruit, going to the gym, and letting myself fall asleep when I was tired.

Today it involved waking up early so I'd have extra time in the morning and wouldn't be rushing to class, eating breakfast, and letting myself watch a show in the afternoon when I had an hour-long break between class and work.

Some days it means letting go of a toxic relationship, reaching out to a friend I haven't talked to in a while, or letting myself eat my favorite comfort food.

Other days it involves going to the farmers' market, depositing money in my savings account, or calling my grandparents.

And every day, regardless of what the action is, the intention is always the same.

I'm doing this because I deserve it.

I'm doing this because I know I can be better.

I'm doing this because it's an investment in my future self, my health, and my happiness.

I'm doing this because I love myself.

And even on the days when I don't believe these words, they matter. Even on the days when I don't feel particularly loving towards myself; when my stomach sticks out too much or my hair won't lay the way I want it to, when it's hard to drag myself out of bed and all I'm craving is a slice of pizza and a nap, I remind myself that I'm loved and worthy of love.

I remind myself that I'm all I have, that my relationship with myself is the longest and the most important one I'll ever have, that telling other women to love themselves while I sit over here practicing self-loathing is hypocritical and unfair.

And on different days, "I love me" sounds different too. Some days it sounds like "I'm beautiful" and other days it sounds like "I can do this" and other days it sounds like "I'm proud of myself" and other days it sounds like "I deserve to be happy."

And at the end of the day, they all mean the same thing.

They mean that I'm done settling for less than I deserve. I'm done filling in the gaps with things and people that don't help me become the person I'm trying to be. I'm done chipping away pieces of myself and giving them away freely, expecting and receiving nothing in return. I'm done floating through life passively waiting for things to happen to me. It's time for me to take charge and to create the change I want to experience in my life.

It hasn't been easy. In fact, choosing radical self-love is the hardest thing I've ever done. But embarking on this journey has been the most worthwhile decision I've ever made. And there's no one I'd rather be experiencing it with than me.

Cover Image Credit: Maria Nelson

Related Content

Facebook Comments