Freshman year of high school. It's not exactly the most graceful period in life, but I retain at least some fond memories. It's been years, but I still have distinct memories of my freshman year musical, Titanic. It wasn't like the movie, and it really isn't a great musical in and of itself, but the thought of it makes me smile to this day. I still have a vivid memory of closing night:
"We'll meet tomorrow; we will find a path. And reach tomorrow, past this day of wrath." The chorus of voices sounded more like a group of angels was on stage, rather than a bunch highschoolers. The tears streaming down my face were no longer conjured of my free will to make my character more realistic, but because I knew that I wouldn't meet these people tomorrow. My mouth moved and sang the lyrics, but I wasn't focusing on what I said. Trying to distract myself, I looked into the audience.The hot stage lights nearly blinded me as my eyes were sweeping over the dark audience. It didn't take long to realize that they too were overcome with emotion. My eyes began to really burn from the mixture of salty tears and running makeup as the curtain closed.
"You look like a raccoon," a senior teased me quietly as he handed me his life vest. I stuck my tongue out at him through the tears, and made my way to my spot. Leah laughed at the look on my face, and Katherine, a girl with brown curls that bounced uncontrollably, did her best to wipe off the smeared makeup.
"Thanks you guys, I love too," I scowled at them, my voice dripping with my everyday sarcasm. The curtain opened again, and our last few lines flew by all too quickly. As I was about to go offstage, I looked over my shoulder and out into the audience. I know that to the audience, it looked like my character was looking for a ship, but my costars knew better. I wasn't looking for some ship: I was looking out into the audience for the last time. I ran as quickly as I could back to the dressing room to change. Katherine and I pulled on our shirts, undershorts, and long skirts. With little time, I quickly washed my face. The eyeliner stained my face, and I wondered how girls wore it every day. Uneasiness filled me as I tried to fix my face without getting any dark black streaks on my pure white costume.
"Hurry, we gotta go!" Katherine exclaimed, pulling me roughly along behind her. My feet ached from being in heels for the past three hours as she yanked me onstage behind the closed curtain. My heels hit the scuffed stage with a sharp sound. Click. Click. Click. "Shhh," Katherine shushed me. Shifting my weight, I did my best to balance on my toes. All of us, who were lined up like soldiers, waited quietly. It was so dark behind the curtain that it was like our own miniature night in which I was lost. The voice of the telegrapher, Riley, shimmered through the air as she began the final song for the last time.
"Let's do this," Leah whispered right before we began to sing. The curtain opened, and we all sang like we had never sung before. That was what we had practiced over four months for. My body shook with emotion as I sang with these people for the very last time. The song flew y, as everything else had, and was suddenly over. As we strode forward for our bows, I no longer tried to hide my tears.The loss of adrenaline from the song left me feeling drained and tired. What was I going to do with my life now that it was all over? My group of third class passengers trudged to our final spot as everyone else finished their bows.
In those last few moments, I realized that nothing lasts forever. Four months prior, I couldn't have wanted the whole show to end sooner, but those thoughts were gone. Over that time of countless hours, the cast and crew of over 50 people had become like family. An indescribable emotion swept over me as I looked at all the people for whom I felt a great deal of love. The crowd erupted into applause, and a grin stretched across my face just as the curtain closed for the last time. No matter how much I wanted Titanic to keep going, I knew that all good things come to an end.
It's always hard to say goodbye to a show, but, of all the shows I've been in, this was one of the hardest. All these years later, it retains a special place in my heart.