The cherry blossom petals litter the walkways, the bright sun gleams through the green leaves, the blue sky is sprinkled with the calm of the storm. It's early May, it's spring time, and it's time to leave college for the summer. As I sit here writing this, I'm staring at an empty bed on the other side of the room. I am contemplating how I'm going to write two papers and a finish a project before the end of the day tomorrow. And I'm thinking, "How the hell am I already halfway through my four years here at Stonehill College?"

My sophomore year did three things for me: brought me closer to three of the most amazing people I have ever met, tore me apart from three people who I thought I would always be able to call my friends, and pushed me to my academic limit as I was challenged in new ways and had to persevere like never before.

I was blessed to have two amazing roommates over the course of the year. My little giggling turtle was the kindest listener and I enjoyed every moment we had together before she transferred schools. We sang random songs, had late night conversations, and took a million snap-chat filtered selfies. To go from a roommate freshman year that basically hated my existence to a roommate who loved me as dearly as you, I am forever grateful for all of it.

I know the time that you left was difficult. Your health suffered because of the transition and I'm glad your mom was able to come from Honduras to be there for you. But that whole month of transition was so heartbreaking. I missed you, I felt like I was literally going to fail all my finals, and our friend group was falling apart.

And our friend group did fall apart.

I've had a lot of time to come to terms with our friendship breakup. To me, it's most important to recognize the root of the problem, the reason why we can't overcome it, and then what we can learn going forward.

The root of the problem: When your friend needs you, you should put aside your differences and be there for her. You don't make up excuses and put your own insecurities in front of her needs. You go and support her, just like the rest of us. When your friends ask you to get together to watch a movie or hang and do homework, knowing it's a stitch effort to try and bring everyone together again, you make it a priority to be there. You don't do that exact same activity on your own and not invite anyone else to join. When your friends confront you and try to explain that this friendship clearly isn't working so what should we do to fix it, you should either recognize your own contribution to the problem or ask why that affected us so much if you really didn't understand. You don't put the problem back on us and claim that we're attacking you because we're trying to fix this. Because guess what happened when we stopped trying to fix it? It was over. The root of the problem: We cared more about you than you did about us.

The reason we couldn't overcome it: We can't expect someone to help fix a problem when they can't recognize that there is one. There was no ownership, no apologies, no questions of clarification. We turned to social media as we made passive aggressive jabs every once in a while. We both did. This an example of me owning up to mistakes in case you were wondering what that's supposed to look like. There was also the texting fight. I tried to explain the root of the problem to tell you why exactly we were so hurt and that we were still in the healing process. Apparently you don't need to heal because you think this is a natural part of college. In that moment I realized why we couldn't overcome this: to you, this nasty fight was a normal part of college. Anyone that I want to be friends with needs to know that the way we fell apart is not a normal part of college.

What I learned: I have been blessed with three of the most amazing girls who came into my life and didn't leave. We stood by each other, leaned on each other, and supported each other through that entire experience. And that's what I need in my life; people who are willing to be there for the long run, when times get tough, and when I need them the most. My perfect sunset watcher decided to move in with me since I was in need of a roommate for second semester and we had the most amazing time sharing chocolate treats, comparing shoes, and laughing until we cry. You made my room whole again and together the three of you healed my soul and mended the broken strings of my heart. I could not be more excited to start junior year with my three best friends as we tackle the bottom floor of Georgetown in the fall.

On top of all of this, I took some pretty hard classes this year. Not just 'hard' as in "I stressed out over complicated problems or would stay up for hours studying for the hundreds of tests I was expected to take." But 'hard' in the sense that the history and sociology classes I took stretched my mind about the world around us. My education classes confirmed that I am destined to be a teacher, but has also made me nervous for what is to come because there is a lot of things teachers have to learn, practice, and master. I persevered through some tough assignments and I am pretty proud of what I have accomplished this year.

My sophomore year has allowed me to become a stronger student, a better friend, and a more compassionate human being. With my three best friends by my side, I am so ready to begin the second half of my college experience and I am incredibly grateful for the crazy year that is officially coming to an end.

Much love,

XOXO