By the time this article publishes, I will have graduated from Texas Lutheran University with a Bachelors of Arts in Psychology.
Typing that out feels undeniably strange.
But for now, I'm here in my office, sitting at the front desk, looking out on the Chapel Lawn where, in three short days, I will be walking the stage. Thinking about it too much makes me teary, so I'm really just trying to think about how much packing I have left to do before then. Don't think about graduating, just think about packing. That will get you through the next few days.
But, as I said, by the time this is published graduation will be behind me. And I will be trying to figure out how to move on.
If I'm lucky, which I sincerely hope I am, I may be starting my new job the day this is published. Or it may be the week after. Or not at all. I've had an interview, so now we wait, fingers crossed, hoping for a phone call telling me that I'm employed. (Note from days after this was written: I am employed!)
Moving on is never easy, but it's especially difficult in places like these, where you've cultivated such strong friendships and relationships with people that you otherwise never would have crossed paths with. I sit here, in this office, thinking about the people I've met, even just here in this office. I've met some ladies that have, no doubt, made me a much better person. They've made me a better worker, a better employee, a better friend. How do you move on from something like that?
Moving on takes time. It takes courage. But really, it takes that one leap--a leap that isn't always voluntary. For me, that leap is graduation. That leap is leaving this place that I've loved and cherished for four years now, and thanking it and everyone in it for the experiences and lessons that it's given to me. That leap feels more like an unwanted shove at some points, and that's okay. Because at other points, it feels like those who love me are right next to me, holding my hand, and taking this leap with me.
Moving on is easier with a support system. And I am the luckiest girl because I have the best support system I could ask for. They hear me out, even when I'm being a little irrational. They listen to me when I'm having a hard time. They hold me when I need it, but they let me go when I need that.
Moving on is an act of bravery. And I intend to act bravely as I walk across that stage on Saturday (and pray to everything and everyone that I don't trip) and accept that my last moments here at this school that I've loved for so long are coming to a close.
Moving on probably won't feel real. It probably won't hit you as a reality until weeks later, when you realize that your friends are starting their next semester while you're going to your job on the daily.
Moving on is something we all have to do, multiple times in our lives. But that doesn't make it easier.
But for now, I'm going to see moving on as a welcoming invitation to the rest of my life.