Moving On From Someone Who Was (Repeatedly) Bad For You
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Moving On From Someone Who Was (Repeatedly) Bad For You

It's not easy, but it's not impossible.

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Moving On From Someone Who Was (Repeatedly) Bad For You
beliefnet.com

Moving on is hard. There isn't any denying it, but it seems like it's even harder when you know the person wasn't good for you. Whether they put you down or used you, you knew the entire time that you shouldn't have been with them or you shouldn't have waited for them, but you did. Don't kick yourself -- we've all been there before. The truth is, you can't really help who you fall for. You didn't know it would end so poorly. Or maybe you did, but it doesn't matter. It still hurts.

Maybe you continue to go back to this person. Maybe you wait around, hoping for the day everything changes and they see you for the person you are. They quit their mind games and they choose you over anything or anyone else. At least, that's what you hope for. But let's think for a moment. Have multiple friends of yours advised you to stay away from them? Have people you love told you to stop going back? Maybe it's time to not only see the red flags but take heed to them...but how do you do that?

1. Stop re-reading old text messages.

No matter how much you miss them, stay out of your old conversations. Delete them if you have to! As crazy as it seems, they aren't the same person they used to be. Or at least, you two aren't the same people you used to be together. You're missing who they were when you first met or when things were good...not the person they are now. If it wasn't healthy (and frankly, even if it was), it's not worth reading those messages.

2. Stop listening to songs that remind you of them.

I must admit that I am guilty of this. I'll listen to an entire playlist that reminds me of someone I'm better off without. And at the end of a song, who do I end up texting? The very last person I should be texting. Make a new playlist. Find some new songs to listen to. You and your toxic other half are not a music video. It's time to move on and play to the beat of your own drum for a while.

3. Try something new.

Whether it's painting or going to the gym, begin something new. Adding something new to your life might help distract you from even thinking about going back to this person. Not only will it be fun for you, you might discover a love for something you never would've thought about before. Find new talents and passions. Let those build you up instead of hoping that person will. If all they've ever done is torn you down and made you feel worthless, you have to realize that they're not going to just flip a switch and start building you up. You might have to look elsewhere.

4. Avoid looking for placeholders and rebounds.

The fact is, people are not objects or options or toys. Finding a rebound might seem like a good idea, but nobody should be used for anything. Just like you wouldn't want someone using you to get over someone else, try not to use others to help you move on. It's not good for either that person or you. And if you end up going back to your on-again-off-again person, you could end up hurting whoever you were (intentionally or unintentionally) using to move on.

5. Don't give in.

Eventually, when you're doing just fine and you really feel like you're moving on, you're going to get the infamous "I miss you text." Even though, it might take all your will power, don't give in to them. They just want you around when they feel lonely or when it's convenient for them. Real love isn't like that. Hold your ground. It's okay to maintain your distance.


I won't lie and say that any of this is easy. In fact, I have to remind myself every day to maintain my distance and that as arrogant as it may sound, I do deserve better. It's OK to remind yourself that you are "good enough" -- in fact, that you're more than good enough. It's okay to tell yourself that you aren't an object or an option. And it's OK to wait for the right person. Don't be with someone or love someone because it's convenient or because you feel trapped. Be happy being single, figuring out who you are and eventually, the right person will come and make you wonder what you were doing waiting around for your toxic on-again-off-again flame. Do things when you're ready...not when you're lonely.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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