This semester I decided on pulling my granny panties up and moving into my very first apartment.

After all, I am starting my second year of college, I'm doing pretty well in school, I'm in a stable relationship, and my parents aren't broke yet. So yeah, you can say things are going pretty well.

I am adult now. That's right. I buy vegetables now.
Well, one vegetable.
I bought corn.

Anyway, I thought I was ready for this life. All those movies make it seem like so much fun. Girls in cute short shorts and messy buns setting up their perfect, almost tumblr-like houses. Boys just doing...something. (I might have been distracted by their shirtless forms.)

"Hell yes I can live by myself! How difficult can it be?" I used to tell myself.
And you know how they always ask you not to challenge density...yep, they're right. Destiny takes serious offense at these rhetorical questions.

Stage 1: Getting tired of your parents' house/dorm room/the hole you stay in

Your veins are coursing with young blood. You think you're the sh*t who knows everything and can handle everything. No room isn't good enough for you. Pssh, you're old enough now.

"Dad, I'm moving out."

Stage 2: Finding Roommates

I honestly thought this would be the easiest part of the whole ordeal. One always has friends who're looking for a place to live in, right? And you LOVE your friends.

There's this girl who gives you space and listens to funky music. A total slob, something you'll realize later.
That guy who seems like such a bro and is totally chill, but showers once in seven days.
And who can forget that person who has an insanely clean room and seems so much fun...but as the days go on, you realize that their immaculate cleanliness and "night gardening" might just be related.

But for now...

Stage 3: Imagining your dream house (based on unrealistic and impractical Pintrest uploads)

So the master bedroom's going to have a canopy bed with a curtain of satin draped across its edges while a dolphin is playing in the pool next to the bed.
The unicorn room is going to be painted with the actual rainbow. I don't want that paint crap, okay.
And the living room? Oh man, it's going to look like Nikki Minaj threw up all over it.