Spoiler Alert!

Kevin Smith, best known for Clerks, announced in 2014 that he was producing a trilogy about the True North (Canada). The first film in the series was Tusk, a film about a T.V. show host that travels to Canada and is captured by an old boat captain. The captain uses psychological torture to make his subject believe he is a walrus. Did I forget to mention this is a comedy? The second film in the True North trilogy, Yoga Hosers, is available to stream on Netflix. If you haven’t guessed by now, these films weren’t made to win Golden Globes. Still, this was a great watch and a perfect farce on what Americans think Canadian life is like.

The film begins with two teenage girls singing discount Beastie Boys’ songs in the back of the convince store they work at, properly named ‘Eh-2-Zed.’ These girls are the films main protagonists. Harley Quinn Smith, Kevin Smith’s daughter, and Lily-rose Depp, daughter of Johnny Depp, are both named Colleen. The Colleens spend their days working at the Eh-2-Zed or taking yoga classes from Justin Long’s character Yogi Bayer (get it?). A string of murders break out across Canada and world famous investigator Guy Lapionte (Johnny Depp) is on the case. To Depp’s credit, I didn’t know it was him. He really gets into his character in this and in Tusk, which is awesome. Actors who are in these types of quirky, non-serious films flourish in the viewer’s eyes when they overact.

The murders are being caused by the Nazi party rising up through a small army of clones. The clones attack by climbing up a person’s rear and tearing them in half with their pointed helmets. The Colleens end up working the night they are supposed to go to the party, and upon inviting their love interest senior boys, are nearly killed by Satanists. The girls are blamed for the murders and arrested. Guy Lapointe, for some reason, believes they are not the killers and breaks them out of jail. They discover secret lair under the Eh-2-Zed that the Nazi Party was using since the 40’s. They use the weird yoga they learned from Yogi Bayer, beat the Nazis, and become famous.

Best Scenes

Around the 8-minute mark Harley Smith’s character is trying to convince her mother to let her go to a senior party. The mother declines, stating that seniors only want to be promiscuous with sophomore girls. There’s period jokes around a customer trying to eat fries with ketchup and forced Canadian accents that are way worse than mine. It’s great. She finally agrees to let her daughter go on one condition; she takes a knife. “On one condition, you bring something stabby. They get cute, they get cut. *flips knife open* I call her the Mohel, she my date knife.” Classic line

The Yoga scenes. The camera cuts barely showed the girls as they were probably laughing too much at the moves Justin Long was nailing. The moves themselves were all not that funny, but was it seeing that the girls were hardly even trying to copy Long while he went all out that made the scene great.

How can you not like a character name Principal Invincible? Sasheer Zamata didn’t even try to have a Canadian accent, while the Colleens overdid theirs. The girls were recollecting their phones after getting them confiscated earlier in the day. The conversation starts with: “Whose dropping a doodie in my office?” and it gets better. “I am so sorry that that happened to you. The sad tale of heart-wrenching woe, I mean, it could win an Oscar… you could call it Twelve Years a Private School Student. You see what I did there? I compared your privileged lives to slaves, and that’s weird, ‘cause I’m black.” The Colleens laugh, Sasheer Zamata says “That’s not funny,” the Colleens apologize and get their phones back. I watched this scene six times over and did a spit take the first time I saw it.