As I write this, I sit crammed in a packed-to-the-brim minivan listening to "Hamilton" and trying to ignore the anxiousness that has settled in. I am on my way to move in to my freshman year at UNC Chapel Hill, and, for all intents and purposes, I'm terrified.
It's hard to pinpoint exactly what is making me so anxious. I do know that one of the major components is the anticipatory excitement of knowing I'll be living on my own for the first time. I've always been a highly independent individual, which lends itself to living on my own terms. I cannot wait for dorm life, and although I know I'll eventually be sick of it, right now the thought is just giving me excited butterflies. I'm sharing my space with essentially a stranger, but we've texted and Snapchatted so much I know that we're well on our way to being close. It's a lot to take in all at once, but I've never been one to recoil in the face of new experiences. I try to embrace everything that's thrown at me, and this new chapter is no different.
For the first time, I can have only popcorn for dinner and nobody will get upset with me. Crop tops are acceptable in the classroom, and I can use earbuds on the walk to class. It's strange, but these subtle privileges add up to create the most freeing atmosphere I've ever found myself in. I know the academics are difficult, and I haven't even finished my summer reading yet, but I'm ready. I'm ready to put in hard work.
I'm excited for the nuances of college life. I can't wait for the late nights, the dorm hangouts, football games (once in a while -- I'm not the biggest sports fan but I'll try my hardest), and, of course, Insomnia Cookies. My school pride is already through the roof and it has been for months now, despite the fact that I didn't even realize that this was going to be my future home until the beginning of April. Ask anybody who knows me and they'll tell you that I cannot stop talking about Chapel Hill. I love the campus, I love the opportunities, I love the fact that I get to be a part of it all.
So, here I sit crammed in a packed-to-the-brim minivan, expectant and equipped with an absurd amount of decorative pillows. The anxiety is fueled by desire. I can't wait to finally be on campus and officially be a Tar Heel. I am on my way to move into my freshman year at UNC Chapel Hill, and the fear is subsiding.