How to Move to Canada If Trump (Or Any Hopeless Candidate) Becomes President

How to Move to Canada If Trump (Or Any Hopeless Candidate) Becomes President

Buy your Toronto Maple Leaves jersey, and perfect your pancakes while you can

Now that Kasich and Cruz have dropped out of the running, Trump has the majority locked up to win the U.S. Presidential nomination for the Republican party, and therefore, has a strong chance of becoming the next leader of our country. This is absolutely terrifying to me. You see, I believe that very few, if any, of the potential candidates in all parties of this election season have what it takes to tackle the growing problems of our country. However, I, like many, am most afraid by what may come if Trump takes the Oval Office.

There are many vows that have floated around about moving to Canada if Trump wins the election, including, but not limited to:

Miley Cyrus, who wrote, "“YOU DT ARE NOT GOD NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU THINK YOU ARE!!! (& if he doesn’t think he is “God” he thinks he is the f—king chosen one or some s—t! We’re all just f—king jam between his rich ass toes! Honestly f—k this s—t I am moving if this is my president! I don’t say things I don’t mean!" on Instagram at the end of February.

Whoopi Goldberg, who went off on Trump during a January episode of "The View," saying, "That’s not the President I want. Maybe it’s time for me to move, you know. I can afford to go."

And George Lopez, who told TMZ shortly after Trump announced he would run for President in June, that there are “enough racists in this country for him to get elected. If he wins, he won’t have to worry about immigration. We’ll all go back.”

So, maybe you'll be beside Cyrus, Goldberg and Lopez in December, pouring fresh maple syrup on your pancakes in your Maple Leaves jersey each morning, while enjoying some good ol' Degrassi reruns.

Here's how to complete your move to Canada if Trump wins the election this November:

1. Get a job in Canada

You may be wondering how to get a work permit to obtain a job in the frigid air of Canada, but there are many jobs that don't require one! You could become a professional athlete or even a circus performer!

However, if you are born without the talent gene, you're s--- out of luck there, and need to obtain a traditional job and permit. Lucky for you, foreign-born workers can work legally in Canada for up to four years. Conveniently, four years is also the amount of time that Trump would be president!

2. Choose a place in Canada to live

Toronto has the Maple Leaves, which will match your super trendy morning jersey, Vancouver has some of the most peaceful and diverse populations in all of Canada and Quebec surrounds you with the sexy language of French. This makes it a tough call!

Fortunately, in case you can't decide, Cape Breton has stated it will welcome all American refugees in the event of Trump's' election, "Where women can get abortions, Muslim people can roam freely and the only 'walls' are holding up the roofs of our extremely affordable houses."

3. Move to Canada

Kayak offered discounted tickets to Canada after the primaries, so there are bound to be similar deals that arise if Trump is announced President. So no worries if you're on a budget!

"Is the election making you want to #MovetoCanada? RT for a chance to win a one-way ticket to Canada. #1WaytoCanada— KAYAK (@KAYAK) March 2, 2016"

4. Enjoy the Canadian and Trump-Free Bliss

Free healthcare, zero 'walls,' interesting pronunciation of "out" and "about," and peaceful acceptance of religion and personal choices! Oh, (sweet) Canada, eh?

Ultimately, it's too soon to book your flight just yet, but I would start buying your sweaters while they're on sale from the winter, studying up on the ins and outs of hockey and perfecting the perfect pancakes for Canadian maple syrup. That way, when November rolls around and the building of the wall begins, the only drama you'll be surrounded by is the teen pregnancy and drug problems of Degrassi High.

Cover Image Credit: Slate

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I Blame My Dad For My High Expectations

Dad, it's all your fault.

I always tell my dad that no matter who I date, he's always my number one guy. Sometimes I say it as more of a routine thing. However, the meaning behind it is all too real. For as long as I can remember my dad has been my one true love, and it's going to be hard to find someone who can top him.

My dad loves me when I am difficult. He knows how to keep the perfect distance on the days when I'm in a mood, how to hold me on the days that are tough, and how to stand by me on the days that are good.

He listens to me rant for hours over people, my days at school, or the episode of 'Grey's Anatomy' I watched that night and never once loses interest.

He picks on me about my hair, outfit, shoes, and everything else after spending hours to get ready only to end by telling me, “You look good." And I know he means it.

He holds the door for me, carries my bags for me, and always buys my food. He goes out of his way to make me smile when he sees that I'm upset. He calls me randomly during the day to see how I'm doing and how my day is going and drops everything to answer the phone when I call.

When it comes to other people, my dad has a heart of gold. He will do anything for anyone, even his worst enemy. He will smile at strangers and compliment people he barely knows. He will strike up a conversation with anyone, even if it means going way out of his way, and he will always put himself last.

My dad also knows when to give tough love. He knows how to make me respect him without having to ask for it or enforce it. He knows how to make me want to be a better person just to make him proud. He has molded me into who I am today without ever pushing me too hard. He knew the exact times I needed to be reminded who I was.

Dad, you have my respect, trust, but most of all my heart. You have impacted my life most of all, and for that, I can never repay you. Without you, I wouldn't know what I to look for when I finally begin to search for who I want to spend the rest of my life with, but it might take some time to find someone who measures up to you.

To my future husband, I'm sorry. You have some huge shoes to fill, and most of all, I hope you can cook.

Cover Image Credit: Logan Photography

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Irish-American History Is Just As Important As Any Other Culture, You Can't Prove Me Wrong

I cherish being Irish and I will not let anyone let me feel bad for that.


Depending on when you're reading this, Saint Patrick's day has either just passed or is around the corner. For me, Saint Patrick's day is tomorrow. I've been debating this article for some time now because I didn't know how it would be perceived. At this point, though, I feel it's important for me to get out. No, Irish people were never kept as slaves in America, and I will never be one to try and say they were. However, Irish people were treated tremendously awful in America. A lot of people tend to forget, or just try to erase entirely, the history of the Irish in America. So much so that I felt shameful for wanting to celebrate my heritage. Therefore, I want to bring to light the history that everyone brushes under the rug.

In 1845, a potato famine broke out across Ireland. This was a big deal because the Irish lived off, mainly, potatoes. They were cheap, easy to grow, and had tons of nutrients. So when the famine struck, many people either died of starvation or fled to America in seek of refuge. When the Irish arrived in America they were seen as a threat to the decency of America. People viewed them as drunk beasts, sinful savages, barbaric, violent, belligerent, stupid, and white apes. When the Irish would go to look for jobs, many times they found signs that read "Irish Need Not Apply," even when the job was hiring. Therefore, the Irish did the jobs no one wanted, and even jobs African slaves wouldn't do. The biggest example of this is when Irishmen built canals and drained swamps. They were sent to do these things because of the enormous amount of mosquitoes; in the swamp, they would get bit and ultimately die of malaria.

Also, during this time, Irish people were poor and therefore lived in the same neighborhoods as the free African Americans. A lot of the Irish people were friendly with their neighbors of color and even got into interracial relationships. Because the Irish lived in these neighborhoods they were seen as dirty and even a lot of people at this time put African Americans higher on the totem pole than Irish. One person during the time even said, "At least the black families keep their homes clean."

The main reason American's outlook on Irish people changed was that most Irishmen took up fighting for the Union in the Civil War. I make this argument, not because I think the Irish suffered more than African slaves. I don't say this in means of trying to erase the struggles of the African slaves. I do not think that any of our ancestors should have been treated the way they were. I mean to say that the Irish did in fact suffer. Irish people were treated wrongly on the basis of...nothing. Simply because my ancestors hailed from the shores of Eire, they were treated with malice. And I write this simply because I want people to remember. I want people to understand what happened.

On Saint Patrick's Day this year, next year, and for the many years to come, I want people to embrace the Irish culture. I want the folks of Irish heritage to not be ashamed of where they come from; to not be ashamed to share their culture the way I have for many years. I want everyone to have a beer, wear some green, eat a potato or two, and dance the Irish step; to celebrate the history of Irish people with a bit more understanding than before.

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