About four years ago, I began reading one of the most amazing books ever written. It’s incredible how much is crammed into its pages (about ¼ of the pages of the entire "Harry Potter" series). It has everything from a talking donkey to the reversal of decomposition to a sword being plunged into an obese king’s belly, followed by his fat closing in over the sword. Want to read about physics-defying encounters with fire and water? Those are in there too. There are so many intriguing details.

Not only are bizarre details woven throughout this book, it also contains betrayal, redemption, lust, murder, joy, sorrow, sandals (oops! I meant to type scandals, but it has sandals too!), torture, peace, victory and a myriad of other events that humans love to identify with.

This book has quite the character cast too: politicians (where do you think the scandals came from?), prostitutes, prophets and fortune tellers, fishermen, carpenters, tax collectors, people with names that require flashcards to remember them, slaves, farmers, a guy who ate locusts everyday, etc.

The literary genres employed are as diverse as the characters. If you’ve got a penchant for poetry, a love for law, or a passion for prophetic works and plot twists, you will be eagerly turning the pages of this book. And just in case you ever need a depressing story full of destruction (ex. the world coming to an end) to start your day off right, there are various spots in the book which you can rely upon, including the last few pages.

Currently, this is one of the most coveted books in the world by thieves. This is a rather funny phenomenon. It is clear that these thieves have never read this book before stealing it, as this book admonishes its readers to not steal. Or maybe, rather, the thieves merely desire to have a pretty paperweight that assists them in gathering dirt particles from the air as part of their dust collection, as is quite popular in the United States. This is plausible, as some of the covers of this book are ornately decorated.

Thousands of book reviews have nothing but praise for this book and/or the author. However, there is one critic in particular that vehemently disagrees with any positive reviews. He emphatically inquires, “What in the devil are you thinking, trusting a single word this book says??! It is full of lies and slander. I mean, it says that I only want to steal, kill, and destroy. Who is he to judge my motives and desires? Not only this, but it contains characters and concepts that are straight up demonic. Do you really want to read a book that will put that kind of stuff into your head? No. You don’t.”

I must respond to these claims by asking why would you not read it?!? The lies that this book contains are his lies and are clearly marked as lies in the text. This book is full of wisdom and has played a significant role in the complete transformation of several lives. The power behind this transformation is so powerful that it has the ability to help Donald Trump tell the truth every time he opens his mouth, if he would choose to accept this power. The applicability and relevance of its words are remarkable and lead to the deepest peace and joy. If you desire to experience this, open your Bible and start using it every day.