Parents give us so many pieces of advice when it comes to dealing with issues of life. My mom always used to say, “I came into this world before you did." That makes a lot of sense now because she has so much wisdom and experience to give. There are so many things that my mom has told me, but one thing that sticks with me is:
“Love God, and yourself more than anyone else”.
She told me this when my ex-boyfriend rejected me and told me to move on. I was devastated because I tried everything to make the relationship work, all because of “love." I did not get how someone you thought that loved you would always leave and come back. And I would accept him back as well, not because I was naïve, but vulnerable. So, assuming our relationship was actually over for good, I decided to move on with my life.
It was hard, but I slowly learned to give all my love to myself. I started doing the things I needed to do, like finishing high school and heading to college. There were days I would still think of him and cry my eyes out. Soon though, he became distant in my mind and only popped up once and a while.
I focused mainly on myself and my family--showing love and making them happy, which made me happy. I ate ice cream, not because I was sad, but because I was happy and actually wanted to. Also, I attended to my needs more than the needs of anyone else. If I got a text from someone, I would not always answer it right away. Sometimes I needed to take a nap or do something more important at the time.
I learned that moving on is not thinking that you are moving on but just living your life normally. And every day, life gets a bit easier. I learned it is okay to be sad or angry, but not on a continual basis. I learned that if someone does not love you like you do; it is a loss of their own.
At first, I felt anger towards my ex, not only because he left, but came back months later, expecting me to feel the same. I mean, I am not desperate to be loved by someone. Now, I feel pretty good when it concerns him. In fact, I wish him the best in life. Maybe, we could become friends one day. However, the most important thing is that I love myself, all thanks to the advice of my mom. I think it is one thing I will remember the most and will pass it on to my future children.
As always, I love you, Mom.