Finals week was fast approaching, and I had been studying and felt prepared. I couldn’t wait for a nice, long four-week break.
Only to learn that I should start working on my senior project over the break.
At my school, in the spring of senior year, we have to complete a seminar class- an original research project within our major. Apparently we need a solid thesis and all our sources by the second week of class next semester. So it’s recommended that we start gathering sources, reading, and thinking over this break.
Well, there’s always a catch.
I already had plans for the break: apply to grad schools (not looking forward to); perhaps edit down that pesky synopsis and send it and a query letter off to a literary agent; sleep; spend time with family.
I did not budget actual homework into my plan.
Of course, I can; and apparently I will. But really—really—who thinks this is funny? I understand we need to be prepared; I understand our semesters have been shortened and for a giant project like this senior seminar, we need to have a head start.
I understand. But I’m tired.
I’m tired of schoolwork. I’m tired of stuff looming over my head—assignments, due dates. Everyone needs a break. I did have a few nice days off around Thanksgiving, but I haven’t had a real break from the pressure of a semester since August. I’m tired of always planning ahead. I’m tired of constantly looking into the future. I’m tired of dismissing the present. I’m tired of thinking—especially since I tend to overthink everything anyway. I’m tired of worrying. I’m tired of being tired.
This probably sounds simply whiny, and I know I am in no position to complain. Once I get into the workforce fulltime, the only time I’m going to have off is a few holidays, and any vacation and/or sick time I use. There are no scheduled breaks.
And I’m not really trying to complain. I’m just shocked. And sort of in denial. After all, what does "break" mean? It means a change; it means time off. It means a departure from whatever you have been doing. Not just a decrease, but a complete interruption.
I suppose I will have to work on this project, at some point. That point is not now. I don’t know when it is. For now, I’m going to do NOTHING.
Hear that, professors? N-O-T-H-I-N-G. And not just for one day. Not just for a couple days. For several days. For many days. For days.
Maybe this is less a complaint than a rant. A pointless rant, perhaps, but one I think most college students can identify with.
So here’s to a nice, long break—filled with work; yes, necessary work, whatever that may be; but mostly filled with rest, and enjoyable activities, and less (or no) pressure. Here’s to a break from that period of time known as the semester, or quarter, whatever the case may be.
Here’s to N-O-T-H-I-N-G.