I heard that in college I’d have those experiences that I never had in high school. My first love, my first *sober* kiss. Well, I kissed 9 people and I didn’t find love. In fact, before I went on my first date ever I was sitting on the ground in the backyard of a house at 2 am and the person in question came up to me—10 hours before the date—and cancelled it. In person. Wild isn’t that?

I thought it was always in relationship to the fact I went to a highschool with only 100 people in it. Now I go to a school where there are 44,000 undergrad. That’s more people than my mom’s hometown.

What I have realized in my short four months of University is that even at a collegiate level, finding romance is difficult when you don’t fit into those neat little archetype boxes. You know, the ones that show up on listicles as “The 10 Guys You’ll Meet On The Row” or the “8 Girls You’ll Meet on Spring Break.” Yeah, I’m not on either of those lists.

I downloaded Tinder for the first time, Tinder, and yet, still, nothing. Though maybe I wasn’t looking in the right place with Tinder. So I turned to trying on the in-person approach. I had been encouraged to be more outgoing and proactive in seeking a love life, not just letting it happen to me because life “isn’t like the movies” (*more on that later). So, I did. I went up to a person I knew at an acquaintance level who I thought was aesthetically pleasing and generally nice and asked for their number. I was met with a swift “Sorry, but I don’t find you attractive.” Ouch. I tried playing the long game, becoming friends with people first, but when circumstances don’t push you together I, at least, find it difficult to create authentic interactions with people. How many times can I ask you to hang out in a friendship way without coming across as creepy? Do you not text me back because you’re busy? Or because you aren’t interested in being my friend? I promise I’m not trying to be creepy, I’m just bad at this social interaction thing; that’s why I’m a writer and an actor, I can at least pretend I have social prowess that way. And if I did come off as too much, I’m sorry, and I hope that won’t be the only image of me painted in your mind.

I could list out my other blunders for you, but for the sake of other people’s privacy, I won’t go into detail about some of my other encounters. Maybe in my memoir.

So now that we’ve got crushing out of the way, let’s talk about rushing. The Rushing Recruitment and pledging process was certainly some of the best time of my entire life. I really never thought I’d be involved in a fraternity. Again, I’m not exactly a cookie cutter. However, that’s the great thing about Delta Kappa Alpha, no one in here is a cookie cutter. Not in the slightest. I have had the joy of being surrounded by several like-minded individuals who are cinematically driven to create media to change the world and the way audiences perceive it. If I was overly religious, I’d say I was blessed. Despite the fact I’m not overly religious, I’m still going to say: I’m Blessed. I’ve got a hearth and home in this big, wonderous and scary city of Los Angeles. Through DKA, I’ve met individuals that have changed my life and reminded me in countless ways that I’m not alone and “little engines can do big things.” There are people here I’m going to hold onto dearly for the rest of my life; people who have shaped my life for the better.

Now let’s turn to my freshman film friends. Oh, my dear friends. I have spent tremendous amounts of time with people who break onto rooftops to watch the sunset, hotbox blankets, and go on six day marijuana benders. And I love them all so much. I sat in the last day of a lecture, surrounded by 14 individuals higher than a fucking rocket and I cannot express to you how much these people mean to me. They’re my rocks. They’re the foundation of academic career, and the foundation of my, honestly, everything here. I wouldn’t have pledged DKA without them. I wouldn’t have gone to frat parties on the row and made out with a stranger without them. I wouldn’t be inspired to get up every day and create without them. Some of these beautiful friendships started with a Rabbit group video call where we watched High School Musical 2 together. Shortly after, we accidentally watched a “footjob” pornography video for about 4 seconds before the video was quickly shut off. That being said, we all willingly chose to watch The Room, followed by the legitimate porographic parody version of it. We’re a crazy bunch, but I love us.

Everyday I’m astonished at the comfortability I’ve created for myself here. I was so terrified to move to Los Angeles. I was convinced I was not going to have any friends and I would spend all of my time in my dorm room. That being said, I decorated a pretty rad dorm room if I do say so myself. With soft lights and soft blankets, it’s a cocoon for me to retire too when need be.

My departure from things familiar has not been that at all, everything here feels familiar because it’s similar. I have support, I have family and friends, and I have people who challenge me everyday to be the best version of myself. I thought very strongly that I was going to experience nothing more than a paled reflection of what college “should” be like, an imitation of life.

But, quoting Hannah Montana, “Life's what you make it / So let's make it rock.”

I didn’t find love in my first semester of college, it found me.