Growing up, I always imagined you. Blue eyes, brown hair, a perfect smile, a beautiful laugh and a beautiful soul. I imagined our wedding day and our family. I saw love movies and read love stories. I imagined what love looked and felt like.
I was only kid, so I didn’t really know what love was. My mom was with my father for five years as a teenager. They had me and they split up. Then she met my step father. I thought my mom loved both of them. She did but not the same.
She told me there would come this man. The man of your dreams but he would break your heart. So I grew up scared to love but I did. And I got hurt, but not by you.
Then there you were, blue eyes and all. The perfect man. The one who I pictured all my life. I saw you and I saw my future. I knew you were the one.
But I’m terrified, because your so perfect to me. Momma as said there wouldn’t be boys like you. I’m terrified because you clam my thoughts, you feel safe. You fell like home.
I never felt like I fit in anywhere. But with you I can be myself. I’m terrified of what I would do for you, terrified of what I would do to myself.
Before I met you I never felt good enough, before I let you in I already giving up. But you came into my life and saved me from myself.
I’m terrified of loving you, but I’ll never tell you, and you’ll never read this so you’ll never know.