To My Mom, My Hero

To My Mom, My Hero

I don't tell her this enough, but I am so lucky to have my mom.

This is the first Mother's Day I have missed in twenty years - this summer, I'm living in Columbus, working hard and taking classes (switching your major three times WILL set you back to graduating on time). The first Mother's Day I've missed - and so, here is the best gift I can give from 800 miles from home.

I have been blessed with a mother who is strong, funny, relentlessly defensive of her family, especially her children. My mom is the definition of "forever young" - she acts like she's still in college sometimes, and being around her is always, always, ALWAYS an adventure.

But more than that - my mother has taught me more about life than anyone I have ever known. My mom has lived through some tough times, and rather than coming out the other side bitter or resentful, she has come out the other side full of light, love, and a sense of optimism that is, frankly, sometimes quite annoying. I've never met anyone who, upon hearing I'm Debne's daughter, doesn't say, "Oh my gosh, I just love your mom." And damn right.

My mom has taught me the importance of optimism, of choosing to laugh about your embarrassments and sorrows rather than wallow in them, and that there is absolutely no reason to do anything less than your best. Most important in that lesson is that as long as you did your best, there's no reason to get down on yourself.

My mom also taught me the importance of sticking up for yourself and asking for help. This lesson was primarily taught in the fierce and unrelenting way she defended my brother and me - hell hath no fury like a Debne scorned. There is no reason to let people walk all over you or the people you love.

She taught us the importance of hard work, and how hard work, more than right place right time and knowing people, will get you farther. With that lesson, of course, is knowing the services available to you, and taking advantage of those always.

My mom also taught me the importance of being a good friend, and what that means. She was always there for advice, for problem-solving, and occasionally to say "screw them" (especially when I needed it), and to say "you're being an asshole" (ALWAYS when I needed it).

My mom is fun loving, strong, confident, and the most amazing mother a girl with self-esteem (among other) issues could ask for. I could sit here and keep telling you how lucky I am to have my mom, how incredible she is (which I could never do justice in writing), but the important thing to remember this Mother's Day is this: you probably don't tell your mom how lucky you are to have her enough. You probably don't let her know how incredible, smart, beautiful, inspirational, or any adjective you feel best describes her, enough. So in addition to breakfast in bed, and flowers, tell your mom how much she means to you.

If I grow up to be half the woman my mom is, I'd be pretty damn lucky.

Cover Image Credit: Kate Marlette

Popular Right Now

10 Reasons Why My Mom Is My Hero

She's also my best friend.

My mom is pretty darn special. And I'd be kidding myself to say that I tell her enough how much I appreciate her. There aren't enough breaths in the day to thank her for all that she has done for me, and all that she will do for me. So this is for my momma, these are just a few of the reasons why I think she's pretty great.

1. I can talk to her about anything.

I know for a fact that no matter the issue and no matter the story, my mom will listen to the entire thing with nothing but compassion in her heart. I don't ever need to wonder if she will judge me because I know for a fact that she never will.

2. She gives the best hugs.

I don't care if I saw her yesterday or if I've been away for three months; my mom will always hug me like she hasn't seen me in years, and there isn't a better feeling in the world.

3. I have never met a more selfless person.

She has such a heart for others and I am constantly blown away by her devotion and passion for serving those around her. If I (or anyone else) needs anything, my mom is the first one to jump up, drop everything, and run to help. If I have half as much generosity as my mom someday, I know that I would be making a huge difference.

4. I am inspired by her.


5. She cares so much for me.

I know that no matter how old I grow to be, and how mature I may become, my mom will always be there for me. She will always be waiting with open arms to either congratulate me or console me. I have never felt more loved by any other human than I do by my mom.

6. She loves me unconditionally.

I will never ever need to worry that she will stop loving me. No matter the circumstances, no matter the phase of life that I'm in, my mom will always be there for me, loving me every step of the way.

7. She is my number one cheerleader.

I don't think I will every meet another person more dedicated to my success and ready to celebrate my accomplishments than my mom. She is hands-down my biggest supporter and will always be standing at the finish line of whatever race I may be running. I could be crawling across that finish line and she'd still be cheering for me the whole way.

8. I can always count on her to point me in the right direction.

My mom will pray for me. She'll encourage me. She will lead by example and through the counseling that she is always ready to provide. I know that I can always count on her to push me in the direction of my dreams.

9. She has the best laugh.

I could pick my mom's laugh out of a crowd of hundreds. Her ability to laugh at herself (and at her own cheesy jokes) are part of what makes her so amazing. But the sound of my mom's laugh has the capability to make anyone's day, including mine.

10. I never stop learning from her.

See points 1-9.

Mom, you are such an amazing woman, and there is simply no way that I could put it into words. So I'll simply say thank you. Thank you for all that you do for me, day-in and day out. Thank you for loving me, and showing me what it means to live like Jesus and everything else that you do. I hope that one day my daughter might love me as much as I love you.



Cover Image Credit: Ashley Burton

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

Just Know That Grief Comes In Waves

My mother's birthday was September 14th and this year it was the hardest year since her death.


Grief on a loved one's birthday feels like a different kind of loss. Sure, you'll get the same feelings of loss and thoughts flooding your mind about all the things they've missed, but it feels different. I can't really put it into words all that well because I'm going through the same feelings right now as I write this on September 14th.

My mom passed away a week before Thanksgiving in 2015. She was pronounced brain dead two days earlier. It's still hard. The grief comes in waves, and I can be smiling and happy one moment and the next my anxiety gets a hold of me, and I'm sobbing. There were so many things I wish I could tell my mom or ask her. I can ask now, but I feel as if I'm speaking into oblivion. The hardest part about going through her birthday as if it's just another day is having all those thoughts I had running through my head the day she died, run through my head with perfect recall. I see everything all over again, and it hurts so bad.

At some point, the thoughts stop or slow down, but only for a moment. Everything I thought or felt during that week is brought up all over again in my head. Everything I did comes back with perfect recall. It's as if I'm watching a movie screen of my life through my eyes during only those moments. The day before she was pronounced brain dead, I visited her. She was talking to me, and we were watching a couple of movies (I didn't have a job at the time, and I wasn't in school, so I spent the day there with her). During the movie Brave (my mother loved children's films and sometimes preferred to watch those over other films), there's a part where Merida is worried she was too late to save her mom and that now she's stuck as a bear forever. I never cried during that movie, but during that part, I cried. I felt that I was losing my mom in the same way Merida thought she was losing her mom. After my mom died, I couldn't watch that movie for a good while, and there are still many movies that I can't watch without crying. That day I spent with my mom felt like I wasn't going to see her again. I picked my brothers up from school that day and considered going back to see my mom. I didn't. That's my biggest regret when it comes to my brothers and my mom. They hadn't seen her in a couple of weeks.

The grief comes in waves; it always will. Many people tell you it gets better, but it doesn't; you just have good days or awful ones (today is a particularly bad day for me because I can barely write this without having tears clouding my vision). The only thing I can think of to help ease the pain is to spend your time with family or people that will make you happy or smile. The death of loved ones is especially hard when you were very close to them.

Related Content

Facebook Comments