I have always been better at putting what I feel onto paper rather than expressing myself through conversation. I guess that is why I found writing this necessary. There is so much that I want to say, yet I don't say enough, if at all.
I am thankful for so many people in my life, but there is one person who deserves everything that I have to give, even if all I have to give are my words. There is one person who has held my hand throughout obstacles in life that I never knew I would face, even when I didn't realize it. There is one person who has given me life when all of the life seemed to have left me.
Mom, what I am writing will never add up to all you have done for me. I will be the first to admit that sometimes it feels like we are miles apart, but the moment I need you those miles turn into footsteps. I am such a difficult person, I know. I like to say that I am the most light-hearted person in our family, but let's face it, I inherited your wide range attitude. I'm just good at hiding it. I can be needy and sensitive. I can bottle things up and explode at the most inconvenient times. But you still love me, not because you have to, but because you want to.
You are the most entertaining, embarrassing, fun, loving mother that I could ever want. I think when God gave me you, he knew the dynamic duo we could be. I know at times it seems like I don't share things with you, that I don't open up to you. Just know that it isn't because I don't want to, I am just still learning how to do that. But you will always be the first person I go to when that time comes and even now you are still the one person who knows the most about me.
You are the one person I know I can always count on. You would offer me the world if it was yours to give, but you are the world to me.
Sometimes I may seem ungrateful. I may seem like nothing is good enough, but I don't want you to ever believe this is true. Everything you do for me is far more than anything I will ever need. You are everything that I will ever need in a mother.
I am sorry if it ever seems like I always want more, or that my time with you just isn't enough. I am sorry that I am always such a busy person and I feel like I have to stay on the go, which results in me never staying home. But I want you to know that I live for my time with you. I live for our lunch dates and DIY projects. I live for our Redbox movies even though we can never hear them over little Sophia running around. I love being with you mom, and I don't know what I would do if I didn't have that opportunity.
I will be the first to say that you are the sassiest woman I know and you know what you want. But I have never met someone as strong as you. You are strong but you aren't afraid to show emotion, and I admire that. You are not afraid to speak what you feel. You are learning to make decisions that make you happy, and that makes me happy. I admire you mom, more than you will ever know.
Now that I am in college, living an hour and a half away from you, the bond that I have always shared with you is more recognizable than ever. There are days when the world seems too heavy and all that I want is you here next to me, but seeing how strong you are reminds me that I can be just as strong because you are me and I am you.
Thank you for everything you do for me even when I am not there with you. Thank you for accepting my five-minute phone calls throughout the day to talk about absolutely nothing. Those are the calls that mean most to me.Some days all I want is to talk to you. All I want is to hear your voice, even if it is just during the few minutes it takes me to walk to class.
Thank you for supporting me in everything. I remember when I was so stressed out about disappointing everyone with my career change from the medical field. You told me to do what makes me happy and to forget how that made everyone else feel. You were the one person who supported my decision to do what I love from the very beginning, and now here I am happier than ever with my college major. Thank you for accepting my unique style (even though most days you don't want to). You have no idea how much little things like this mean to me.
Mom, these words will never compare to the person that you are. I could write a novel on the ways that I love you, but for now, I am just going to tell you; I love you. I would not be who I am if you weren't who you are. Thank you for loving and supporting not only me but our family unconditionally, not because it is your job as a mother but because you choose to. Not everyone is as fortunate to have such a gem in their life. Of all the treasures we are surrounded by, you are the true treasure. Thank you for filling me with love and hope. You are more than I will ever deserve but everything that I am so thankful for. I love you, Mom, more than you will ever know.