A Letter To The Most Important Woman In My Life

A Letter To The Most Important Woman In My Life

Thank you for helping me become the woman I am today

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Dear Mama,

A letter like this is hard to write, not just because I'm sharing it to the public, but rather I want to do you justice. How does one encapsulate a person who has given so much time and support towards your own personal growth? I feel like its a cliche nowadays to say that your mother is your best friend, but I can honestly say that it's true. I call and text you multiple times every day to catch you up on my life away from you. Our conversations can be short and sweet or run on for hours. Whether it's about what someone said in class or my adventures for the day, I always call to let you know. I don't do this because I feel like I have to but rather because I enjoy talking to you. Like any of my other college friends, you listen to all my stories, laugh at my jokes, and give the very best advice when I ask.

Although we are close, that doesn't mean we agree on every little thing. Sometimes our differing opinions and worldviews cause tension, but it never lasts and before long we are gabbing away again. As I get older, I begin to realize that you were right about certain subjects that I use to fight you on. In this way, you are more than just a close girlfriend but also a teacher and parent. Even when it frustrates you, you never try to make me change my perspective but rather give me the tools to try and see the other side. You've let me become the person I was meant to be, and I've realized that she's a lot more like you than I'd ever imagined.

You've taught me to be both kind and firm - to help others but not to an extent that it brings me more harm. You instilled in me the qualities of perseverance, integrity, and accountability. When things get tough, I push harder. When I get put into difficult situations, I don't take the easy way out if it will make others question my sincerity. I don't make promises I can't keep and I complete the tasks given to me in a timely fashion.

Mom, you've shown me what it means to be a woman of strong character by just being a good mother. Thank you for showing me how to respect myself and others, and how others should respect me. I've learned that being your daughter was truly a gift from God, and I'm not sure how I would have turned out if things had gone differently. You protect me and you guide me, but never to the extent that it would hurt my individuality. You lecture me when I've made a mistake, but never harshly enough that I stopped coming to you when I slip up. Somehow you have perfectly balanced being a friend, a parent, and a mentor throughout my life. So thank you for encouraging me to become the woman I was meant to be. I'm glad she reminds me a lot of you.

Love,

Francesca

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Dear Mom, From Your Daughter In College

Here are all the things our phone calls aren't long enough to say.
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Dear Mom,

Do you remember when I was three and we would play together?

It was the age of princesses and carpet that was actually lava, and you were the prettiest woman in the whole wide world. Do you remember when I was in high school and the world seemed too big and scary? You would know exactly when to take me on a mother-daughter date and have me laughing about anything and everything, and you were the smartest woman in the whole wide world.

Now, I'm buried in homework and deadlines hours away from you and we don't get to talk as much you want, but you're still the prettiest, smartest woman in the whole wide world.

I'm sorry that I don't call you as much as I should, and you know a lot of what goes on in my world via posts and pictures. Our schedules just seem to never line up so we can have the three-hour conversations about everything like I want to. I know we don't agree on absolutely everything, but I cherish every piece of advice you give me, even though it probably seems like I'm hardly listening.

I know that sometimes we get on each other's nerves, but thank you for putting up with me for all of these years. Thank you for listening to me cry, complain, question things and go on and on about how everything in college is. I know I don't come home as much as I used to, but I think about you all the time. After all, you're my first friend, and therefore, my best friend.

Thank you for celebrating my successes with me, and not downing me too hard for my failures. Thank you for knowing what mistakes I shouldn't make, but letting me make them anyway because you want me to live my life and be my own person. Thank you for knowing when to ask about the boy I've been talking about, and when to stop without any questions. Thank you for letting me be my crazy, weird, sometimes know-it-all self.

Thank you for sitting back and watching me spread my wings and fly. There is no way I could have known how to grow into the woman I am today if I hadn't watched you while I was growing up so I would know what kind of person I should aspire to be. Thank you for being the first (and the best) role model I ever had. You continue to inspire and amaze me every day with all that you do, and all that you are.

I don't know how I got so lucky to have a person in my life like you, but I thank the Lord every night for blessing me with the smartest, prettiest person to be my best friend, my role model, my confidant, my person and most importantly, my mother.

Love,

Your daughter

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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Love You More.

An open letter.

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Sometimes, when we get older, we beat ourselves up for things we didn't know when we were kids. It's not like we can be blamed for our ignorance, though, but something inside us says things would be drastically different if you had just known that one thing.

Everyone is at some point a child, but not everyone experiences childhood, and that is why I think it is a privilege. I think children are born to homes and pasts they don't choose, and I think some of those kids should be prayed for. Not every home is ready to take care of a child's everyday demands. Not every family is ready to accept the life and joy a baby brings. Sometimes, parents need to do a bit of their own healing before they think it's the right time to bring a child to the earth.

In my case, my mother left me too early. I was fifteen. I was at a friend's house, having just convinced my aunt and grandma to let me sleep over. Suddenly, an urgent call from my aunt left me in tears: I had to pack my bags that instant, I could not sleepover, and we'd talk when we got home. I thought I was in trouble for something. I thought one of my earlier delinquencies would have caught up with me, but no. It had nothing to do with that.

When a daughter loses her mother it is hard to put into words the feelings that follow. Should there be sadness? Remorse? Self-pity? Guilt? Fear? I felt all of those things, and it wasn't fun trying to sort them out. I instantly felt alone, despite having failed to call her for three whole weeks prior to her death. I wasn't ready to be alone. I wasn't ready to deal with problems by myself and not have anyone to talk to that actually "got" me.

Grief is a long, confusing process. It's been almost four years since I lost my mom. It took a long time to sort out the resentments I'd had towards her during adolescence. I feel at peace with her now, like she is with me everywhere I go. The grieving process is horrible on the nerves. I hear songs in public that make me think of her and it's painful keeping in the tears. Sometimes I get angry, and I yell at God. Sometimes I wallow so deep that I don't see myself getting out of my hole.

I take it in stride, though, and I try bringing peace and love to every heart I touch. It's the least I could do in her wake.

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