1. She blinds people with the flashlight. 

When I go to a restaurant with my family I find that my mom is always blinding half the restaurant with her iPhone flashlight because she can't see the menu. There needs to be some kind of "menu flashlight" that's a bit more dim than usual.

2. She zooms in for everything. 

I wish it was possible, but no dad, you can't zoom in on Jeff's Facebook status.

3. She accidentally likes Instagram photos I show her.  

Showing your parents a photo of someone from a while ago can probably trigger their "accidental liking syndrome." You've probably experienced accidental liking syndrome firsthand if one of your parents liked a picture of your crush from six years ago.

4. She never calls back. 

Mom: "I'll call you back"

*five hours later*

No call back. I have to chase her.

5. I have to call my mom to have her check my texts.

I'll text my mom something urgent like "Oh I just got bit by a seizing rabid raccoon" and she won't answer me unless I call her. I have to call her to say mom check your texts.