I Am A Proud Feminist But I’m NOT Against Revising Our Brand

I Am A Proud Feminist But I’m NOT Against Revising Our Brand

My fellow feminists, let's not turn into the very thing we hate.
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I'm all about some #GirlPower, trust me, I really am. But I'm not about some #GirlPower at the expense of someone else.

See, I'm not quite sure when feminism became a game of becoming better than men, but I don't like it. By "becoming better than men" aren't you becoming that which you hated in the first place?

It's a double standard to say that it's not OK for men to be better than women, but it's OK for women to be better than men. Inserting a different gender into the fill-in-the-blank statement doesn't make its value any different.

I am a very proud feminist on the grounds of what feminism is intended to be. I'm fighting for equality of opportunity to men, not to be better than them because quite frankly, you are literally becoming what you said you once hated.

As a Christian, I believe that all beings were created in the image of God and that all beings are important. God loves all of his children equally. I don't see how I could possibly fight that I am "better than someone" and be OK with it.

That's not how humankind was ever intended to be.

I think that by not revising our brand, we're doing ourselves a disservice. We look like a bunch of hypocrites if we stand here and make a fuss to be the very thing we don't want men to be.

It doesn't make it OK for a gender to be superior just because it's your gender that's on top.

That's saying it doesn't actually matter if someone is superior as long as it benefits me.

That is selfish and not at all feminism. You're not empowering anyone by trying to stomp other people into the ground.

Is that really what we want feminism to be known as? The movement that supports acting like a child and pushing one gender down just so you can be on top?

What happened to a fight for equality?

A fight that had a purpose.

I type this article on my laptop that boasts a "the future is female" sticker, but I don't think the future should be female if we're going to turn it into an "America's Next Top Model" spin-off called "America's Next Top Gender."

Wouldn't it be beautiful to have a world where men and women are working side by side actively, together, on the same project?

Wouldn't it be awesome to have a world where we don't say, "Oh, she's a great CEO for a woman," and just said, "She's a great CEO."

We need to stop focusing on being better than men because we're losing our movement, and rapidly at that.

We need to focus on what is important, and that's equal pay for equal work and showing that women can be just as amazing at their jobs as men and that we do belong in the places society says we don't belong in.

I'm a very proud feminist, and I don't hide it. But a world that is solely dedicated to which gender is on top today was never the intention of feminism.

Remember, it's about proving we can do the job and that we have the skills to do it, not trying to get the job and then push every man out of the company.

My fellow feminists, let's not turn into the very thing we hate.

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This Is How Your Same-Sex Marriage Affects Me As A Catholic Woman

I hear you over there, Bible Bob.
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It won't.

Wait, what?

I promise you did read that right. Not what you were expecting me to say, right? Who another person decides to marry will never in any way affect my own marriage whatsoever. Unless they try to marry the person that I want to, then we might have a few problems.

As a kid, I was raised, baptized, and confirmed into an old school Irish Catholic church in the middle of a small, midwestern town.

Not exactly a place that most people would consider to be very liberal or open-minded. Despite this I was taught to love and accept others as a child, to not cast judgment because the only person fit to judge was God. I learned this from my Grandpa, a man whose love of others was only rivaled by his love of sweets and spoiling his grandkids.

While I learned this at an early age, not everyone else in my hometown — or even within my own church — seemed to get the memo. When same-sex marriage was finally legalized country-wide, I cried tears of joy for some of my closest friends who happen to be members of the LGBTQ community.

I was happy while others I knew were disgusted and even enraged.

"That's not what it says in the bible! Marriage is between a man and a woman!"

"God made Adam and Eve for a reason! Man shall not lie with another man as he would a woman!"

"Homosexuality is a sin! It's bad enough that they're all going to hell, now we're letting them marry?"

Alright, Bible Bob, we get it, you don't agree with same-sex relationships. Honestly, that's not the issue. One of our civil liberties as United States citizens is the freedom of religion. If you believe your religion doesn't support homosexuality that's OK.

What isn't OK is thinking that your religious beliefs should dictate others lives.

What isn't OK is using your religion or your beliefs to take away rights from those who chose to live their life differently than you.

Some members of my church are still convinced that their marriage now means less because people are free to marry whoever they want to. Honestly, I wish I was kidding. Tell me again, Brenda how exactly do Steve and Jason's marriage affect yours and Tom's?

It doesn't. Really, it doesn't affect you at all.

Unless Tom suddenly starts having an affair with Steve their marriage has zero effect on you. You never know Brenda, you and Jason might become best friends by the end of the divorce. (And in that case, Brenda and Tom both need to go to church considering the bible also teaches against adultery and divorce.)

I'll say it one more time for the people in the back: same-sex marriage does not affect you even if you or your religion does not support it. If you don't agree with same-sex marriage then do not marry someone of the same sex. Really, it's a simple concept.

It amazes me that I still actually have to discuss this with some people in 2017. And it amazes me that people use God as a reason to hinder the lives of others.

As a proud young Catholic woman, I wholeheartedly support the LGBTQ community with my entire being.

My God taught me to not hold hate so close to my heart. He told me not to judge and to accept others with open arms. My God taught me to love and I hope yours teaches you the same.

Disclaimer - This article in no way is meant to be an insult to the Bible or religion or the LGBTQ community.

Cover Image Credit: Sushiesque / Flickr

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For The One Who Loves Too Fiercely

I challenge you to love yourself even more
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"Her soul was too deep to explore by those who always swam in the shallow end."
-A.J. Lawless

My mom has a saying that "almost" is the same as never will be. You "almost" got the guy. You "almost" found your best friend. We "almost" could have worked out.

But it didn't.

For a lot of my life, I grew up believing that something was wrong with me. I was too loud. I wasn't funny like the rest of my family. I wasn't good enough.

People would befriend me and then walk away without notice. Guys would take interest and then not respond just when I started to catch feels.

I didn't understand why I always felt like second best to my friends instead of their first, absolute best friend. And I spent countless hours wracking my brain trying to figure out what I needed to change in order to fit the seam I somehow always lacked.

But the truth is, there is absolutely nothing wrong with me or you.

We as humans all live completely separate, yet selfish lives and each and every one of us has a different past and future that will inevitably define us.

Some of us have been incredibly blessed. Never questioning our parent's love of us, feeling financially secure in attending college or getting the next best thing.

While others of us have feared to open the pantry or refrigerator door, hopeful that something might magically appear inside. Some of us have experienced the neglect that our parental figures left us and search for love in individuals who can never give as we may need.

But there is nothing wrong with being different.

With being the girl who wears her heart on her sleeve. The girl who screams at the top of her lungs and emotions deeper than others can handle. With being the girl least likely to speak up in class or approach the one who her heart desires. With being the girl who hates shallow conversations and questions the great unknowns.

And while you may feel alone in certain groups or at certain events, my greatest hope is that you may also learn to feel full from others, but at least always in yourself.

To understand the love and admiration that your true friends most genuinely have for you. To feel included, even if you may not have anything to say this time. To feel worthy even in the darkest of storms, or the gloomiest days.

Some people will never understand the emotions brewing inside of you, for they have never lived the hells you have learned to call reality. Some have never wanted to discuss the greatest struggles and triumphs of our government or lives of our society.

Regardless of where you stand in the midst of this, the center, outer corners or nowhere in sight, I hope you come to understand that it will never be because of you. My god it never was you.

Your soul is far too vast to be cherished in the shallow end.

And while you might have felt more rejection by men and women your age, the love you feel for yourself must always come from within.

I challenge you to find space in your heart to love yourself as wholly as you have attempted to love the individuals who failed you. To wait for the friends and loved ones who will appreciate you and lift you up, but understand that they can never fill you. For you can only fill yourself.

Because while you might be far too intense for everyone, you can never be too much for yourself or the people who learn to love the real you. And that, in my honest opinion will always prevail over anyone who walked away before having the chance to love the individual you so desperately want to hide, but I so desperately want to see.

Choose her over anything, and love yourself more fiercely than anyone ever could.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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