You’d think that someone who has anxiety or who is socially awkward would love dating apps, right? I mean, you just have to swipe right or left. But I’ve found that the more I swipe, the more depressed I get.
Dating culture currently holds zero interest for me. I don’t want to meet someone through a set of pictures and a bio just to message them for a while until it fizzles out. I don’t have the patience or the time.
I’ve had tinder installed on my phone for a while now, but at this point, it’s just on there to take up space. The whole premise of the app is to make dating easier, but I’ve discovered that that’s not what I want. I’m not the type of woman who wants something casual, or something physical.
So, I’ve chosen to be single.
I’m not saying that online dating or dating apps can’t result in happy endings; they absolutely can. But, they aren’t necessarily designed for it. To be more precise, the people on them aren’t necessarily looking for it.
I’ve come to the conclusion that meeting someone in person and actually getting to know them, and their quirks, is very important. So much so, that I think it is necessary in order to form a first impression. You can’t hide behind a screen, but you can better judge if there is a connection.
But, even meeting someone the “old fashioned” way doesn’t automatically mean a better outcome. The stages of dating these days are still ridiculous. I mean, really, aren’t you sick of referring to someone as “this guy I’m talking to”? I’m not saying to jump into a relationship, but dating itself is meant to be the stage of getting to know each other.
We’ve taken a step backward, and our new stages of relationships just keep getting more complicated.
In my experience, what little I’ve had, this kind of dating just adds extra pressures. Dating used to be simple: you go out, have fun, and have a conversation. So, when did it change? More importantly, why did it change?
The older I get the more I get to know myself, and I’ve learned that I’m not the type of person who messages first, just like I’m not usually the person to start up a conversation. I don’t want to have to change and/or manipulate my personality and comfort to fit into the modern style of dating.
I’m mostly a “no nonsense” kind of person, so why mess around and be unsure about someone or whether or not we’re exclusive, or even together.
To be frank, it’s childish.
Maybe I’m not being fair, or open-minded enough, but really, why should I be? I’ve resigned to the fact that I don’t have the time, energy, patience, or personality for this kind of dating, and that’s okay. And if this works out for you, great. But, it’s definitely not for everyone.