On January 19th, 2012 I was about to hop in the shower for school. My mother knocked and came in to tell me my grandmother passed away last night. Her and my father have been going to my grandparents' house for a while now, every night because they knew the time was coming. My grandmother was diagnosed with lung cancer around October/November in 2011. She was feeling great and went through all the medicine that comes with cancer. That Christmas she wasn't able to make it to our family meal but we went and saw her afterwards. She was lively, happy, her same cute little self. Little did I know that day was going to be the last time I hugged her, the last time I kissed her.

My grandmother was very close to her children and grandchildren. Every morning since I could remember, her phone number would pop up on the caller ID to talk to my mom. They would watch QVC and talk for hours about random things. My grandparents visited every Sunday. Never once did I think about them passing away or my life without them. Until my mother told us one night that my grandmother had cancer. Cancer never was just a disease or zodiac sign to me anymore. Every time it's mentioned my stomach turns. My grandmother did smoke, but no one knew back then how serious it was. She stopped a while back but still managed to get the repercussions of it. I will never touch a cigarette ever in my life. I yell at my friends if they talk about touching one. I tell people everyday at the store I work at to quit. I bark and bark at people for smoking because of this. My grandmother was one of the sweetest, cutest ladies I've ever met. She was hilarious, smart, beautiful, vibrant. Her light was so bright, it was noticeable everywhere she went. Her and my grandfather had a special kind of love. One that I long for in this life. My grandfather was/is obsessed with his wife. They are so in love. I wish so badly that my grandmother was still here. That she could have seen me go to prom, seen me without braces, seen me graduate high school, meet my boyfriend. I wish that holidays would go back to being the same with her there and hearing her laugh. But I'm happy she's in heaven watching over us. She's with my doggie, Sadie and her parents and siblings. She has a lot of love up there as well as down here. I know she's with us and I know she's proud of us.

You never really think about losing a grandparent until that time has come. Now I tell my grandparents as much as I can how much I love and care for them. I hope you all do. I hope you all call and spend time with them because they won't be here for your whole life. That's a sucky part about this lifetime. But you should make the most out of it now. I love talking about memories with my grandmother, hearing stories about her, wearing her jewelry. I love spending time with my grandparents and taking as much pictures of them as I can. They are a blessing to have in our life.

I wrote this poem about my grandmother to read at her funeral. I don't know how I came up with something so perfect, so little to describe such a huge personality but the words make perfect sense. I miss you everyday Grammie and I love you so much.

This small, petite lady

Who could get plowed over by Sadie.

Always kept a smile

On everyone’s faces, for a while.

Watching QVC all day,

And on the phone would always say,

“Alrighty then”

when the phone conversation would end.

Sassy, loving, and sweet,

She was the girl that boys would want to meet.

With a ring on her finger,

Pop-Pop by her side,

She was one of a kind and will be remembered with pride.

They were high school sweethearts,

went through it all.

Now she will always be with us,

when we fall.

Don’t cry on this day,

We all know she wouldn’t want it that way.

Instead, spread her joy and laughter,

With all for forever and after ♡