When You Miss Someone But Can't Let Go

I Can't Keep Missing You, But I Can't Let You Go Either

So where do I go from here?

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I remember the times we laughed together. I remember your bright smile and the different specs of color in your eyes. I can still picture you thinking everything is funny and I can still feel the warmth in my heart when you used to hug me. I remember the day I met you, I instantly fell in love.

You made me feel proud. I was honored, there was nothing I wanted more than to just be able to give you everything. To have you in my life was one of the best gifts I had ever received. From now until forever you would always be there for me, and I would also always be there for you.

That was so I thought, so I had expected. Even when things changed and a distance set in, I tried so hard to still be there. Phone calls and Facetime, Amazon prime Christmas deliveries. I feared you'd forget my name, I was terrified that you'd no longer remember who I am.

In my head, I had so many happy thoughts and hopes for us stored. I had ideas of things to do, places to see, memories to be made. In my head, I was going to be the very best for you. Then at no fault of your own, I lost you. Without realizing it, I let my pride mean more to me than you.

I let anger and disappointment overpower and overcloud my judgment. Maybe in the situation, I was not wrong or right. Maybe in the situation, tensions were too high. All I know is, I can't change what happened, but I would do anything to have you back in my life.

I wouldn't have to remember that it's been 3 months, 1 week, and 1 day since I last saw you. I wouldn't have to be sad every time I saw something that reminded me of you. I wouldn't have to keep all your photos and videos on my phone, staring at them worried that I may never see you again.

I know it's a longshot, and I know you're not reading this, but I hope you know I love you. I would say I am sorry if I knew that would fix things, or if I was even given the time of day. I would apologize a thousand times over again if it meant having you back in my life.

I would let it all go, I would forgive and forget everything, as long as it meant I could see you. You are more important than all of the things that lead us here to this lonely place. I hope you know, that you did nothing wrong. I hope you understand that I never wanted this to happen.

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If You've Ever Been Called Overly-Emotional Or Too Sensitive, This Is For You

Despite what they have told you, it's a gift.
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Emotional: a word used often nowadays to insult someone for their sensitivity towards a multitude of things.

If you cry happy tears, you're emotional. If you express (even if it's in a healthy way) that something is bothering you, you're sensitive. If your hormones are in a funk and you just happen to be sad one day, you're emotional AND sensitive.

Let me tell you something that goes against everything people have probably ever told you. Being emotional and being sensitive are very, very good things. It's a gift. Your ability to empathize, sympathize, and sensitize yourself to your own situation and to others' situations is a true gift that many people don't possess, therefore many people do not understand.

Never let someone's negativity toward this gift of yours get you down. We are all guilty of bashing something that is unfamiliar to us: something that is different. But take pride in knowing God granted this special gift to you because He believes you will use it to make a difference someday, somehow.

This gift of yours was meant to be utilized. It would not be a part of you if you were not meant to use it. Because of this gift, you will change someone's life someday. You might be the only person that takes a little extra time to listen to someone's struggle when the rest of the world turns their backs.

In a world where a six-figure income is a significant determinant in the career someone pursues, you might be one of the few who decides to donate your time for no income at all. You might be the first friend someone thinks to call when they get good news, simply because they know you will be happy for them. You might be an incredible mother who takes too much time to nurture and raise beautiful children who will one day change the world.

To feel everything with every single part of your being is a truly wonderful thing. You love harder. You smile bigger. You feel more. What a beautiful thing! Could you imagine being the opposite of these things? Insensitive and emotionless?? Both are unhealthy, both aren't nearly as satisfying, and neither will get you anywhere worth going in life.

Imagine how much richer your life is because you love other's so hard. It might mean more heartache, but the reward is always worth the risk. Imagine how much richer your life is because you are overly appreciative of the beauty a simple sunset brings. Imagine how much richer your life is because you can be moved to tears by the lessons of someone else's story.

Embrace every part of who you are and be just that 100%. There will be people who criticize you for the size of your heart. Feel sorry for them. There are people who are dishonest. There are people who are manipulative. There are people who are downright malicious. And the one thing people say to put you down is "you feel too much." Hmm...

Sounds like more of a compliment to me. Just sayin'.

Cover Image Credit: We Heart It

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I Went From Losing Weight To Lifting Weights, And Now I'm In The Best Shape Of My Life

How a change in my fitness goals changed my life.

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I am in the best shape of my life...or at least I think so, and that's what truly matters.

I look in the mirror and feel confident.

I finally feel comfortable wearing crop tops, and I'm even starting to show visible abs. But getting here has been such a difficult journey filled with eating disorders, body dysmorphia, and other physical and mental struggles that hindered my ability to achieve my goals.

I have been on this health and fitness journey for many, many years now. I've been a size 00, a size 12, and every size in between.

Through it all, I have learned so much about myself, as well as fitness and nutrition in general. My biggest takeaway that led me to overcome all these obstacles was learning to let go of my perfectionism. When I'm old, I don't want to look back on my life and realize that I spent it all trying to lose weight. So, I changed my mindset.

My new focus was to be as strong as possible—to lift the heaviest weights, rather than losing the most weight. If you too, want to be in the best shape of your life but have struggled for so long, read my tips below.

1. EAT MORE

I know, it sounds crazy. As women, we are constantly told about diets and cutting calories. If you just want to be skinny, you can do that. But if you want to be strong, you need to eat to be able to put on the muscle.

2. ALLOW YOURSELF TO HAVE CHEAT MEALS

If you have struggled with eating disorders like me, satisfying your cravings will prevent you from having major setbacks.

3. LIFT WEIGHTS

Get your butt off that elliptical and into the weight room.

4. DON'T WORKOUT EVERY DAY

Again, especially if you want to build muscle, you need rest days. These are the days where your muscles are "actually" growing.

5. DON'T RUSH IT

You will not see abs overnight. It takes a long time. But if you want sustainable results, you must treat your body right.

I hope these tips are helpful. With positivity and patience, you can achieve anything.

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