When My Mind Wanders

When My Mind Wanders

A friendly smile through anonymous strangers
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I remember the emotions of everything I was put through, the good and the bad

It is so much fun to remember family and how you came into this world

The joy of family coming together, their noses flaring when they smell the authentic food aunts and uncles create. The joy of seeing someone again after so long, the joy of being in love with each other so much that sometimes not seeing someone for a certain amount of time does not even matter in their eyes and soul.

My grandmothers and grandfathers eyes every time they greeted me, filled with so much love it was always a harder goodbye and an easy hello.

Cousins joking around and filling every room with personalities that are worth bragging about

Adolescents like me, speaking through the heart of passions they wish to fulfill in the future, in hopes of changing lives

Babies that make your heart melt

A friendly smile through anonymous strangers

A random compliment by someone who you admire

When you finally pass that test you have been studying weeks for, the feeling of a major accomplishment is always worth remembering

Don’t you wish it was possible to only remember the great parts? But if this was remembered we would forget about the things that really shaped us, the not so easy parts.

When my mind wanders I think of so many different things, things I cannot even mention.

The intensity of the cries of people I know and once knew

Their peach colored faces so burnt with exhaustion of sadness and heartbreak

The anger towards people who talked bad about me, how my mind felt so emotions, could have said so many hurtful things but my breath stayed silent

The nightmares that happen when my body is asleep but my mind is awake

The feelings of heartache after a fight with a loved one

The feeling of betrayal over someone you once trusted

The anxious feeling you get when you meet someone and talk to someone new

The loneliness you feel even when you are surrounded by people

The loneliness you feel even when you are alone

The relief of getting out of something you knew was bad for you

The times that are harder to remember are things we all try to suppress

Do not give in to negative peer pressure because you never know how it will change your life

When my mind waders, I feel alive

I feel alive because if nothing in my life ever happened if my mind constantly did not remind me of things I need to remember

I would just be surviving

Cover Image Credit: SketchPort

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To The Girl Who Isn't Graduating On Time, It Won't Feel Any Less Amazing When You Do

Graduating is something to be proud of no matter how long it takes you.

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To the girl who isn't graduating college "on time,"

I promise, you will get there eventually, and you will walk across that graduation stage with the biggest smile on your face.

You may have a different journey than the people you grew up with, and that is OKAY. You may have some twists and turns along the way, a few too many major changes, a life change, you may have taken most of a semester off to try to figure your life out, and you're doing the best you can.

Your family and your friends don't think less of you or your accomplishments, they are proud of your determination to get your degree.

They are proud of the woman you are becoming. They don't think of you as a failure or as someone any less awesome than you are. You're getting your degree, you're making moves towards your dreams and the life that you have always wanted, so please stop beating yourself up while you see people graduating college on time and getting a job or buying a car.

Your time will come, you just keep doing what you need to do in order to get on that graduation stage.

Your path is set out for you, and you will get there with time but also with patience. The place you're at right now is where you are supposed to be. You are going to thrive and you are going to be the best version of you when you graduate and start looking for a company that you will be proud to work for. Don't look on social media and feel less than, because at least you're still working towards your degree that you are finally passionate about. You will be prepared. You will be ready once the time comes and you cross the stage, move away, and start your journey in whatever field you're going into.

Don't question yourself, and be confident in your abilities.

With love,

A girl who isn't graduating on time

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Goodbye School, Hello Real World

I'm ready for ya!

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It's starting to hit me.

I've been in school, year after year, since kindergarten. Maybe even pre-school!

Now, I'm about to graduate with my bachelors in communication and I couldn't be more proud of myself. I'll say it. I often sugarcoat it or suppress it but d*mn it. I'm going to applaud myself. It was hard work. It took a lot of motivation, determination, (caffeine), and willpower to get to where I am today. I worked my ass off.

That being said, I can't help but think... What is life without due dates? What is life like without scrambling to turn in an assignment that's due at 11:59 PM? What is life like with actual sleep? Sleep? I don't know her.

Like I keep telling my boyfriend and my parents, I don't have it all figured out. At least not right now. But I will, and I'm in no rush to land my dream job right now. If anything, I want to take a year to myself. I want to travel. I want to sleep in if I d*mn well please! I want to read as many books as I want. I want to write till my fingers fall off (OK, maybe not that).

You get the jist.

I'm free. I can do and be whatever I want. And you know what? That's terrifying.

I'm lost. I've followed this structure for so long. Now what?

I don't have all the answers yet. But for now, at least right at this very moment, I'm so thankful to have been able to receive such an amazing education. And to be able to say I'm graduating with my bachelors in communication at 21 is an accomplishment in itself.

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