Everyone always talks about the person who gets broken up with, but no one ever talks about what it's like to be the person doing the breaking up. In some ways its harder and hurts more than to hear the words “its over”. So to the boy who’s heart I broke mine broke too.

This is what it feels like to break up with the one you love. A few days before you make up you mind to end things you are constantly thinking on ways to save the relationship. On changes that both of you can make that will fix things, but then you remember that those ways have already been tried. So you make up your mind to end things and from that day on until you end things all you want to do is cry. You feel guilty when you catch yourself smiling or having a good time because you know what you are about to do. You try to distance yourself from that person so you might not cry yourself to sleep that night. Your heart breaks more and more every day because the day you end things is vastly approaching. When that day comes, it’s the worst you have ever felt. You try not to burst into tears as soon as you see their face. You try your best to get everything you need to say out before you start crying uncontrollably, but it doesn’t happen. It kills you to sit across the person you love and tell them its over.

I’m sorry that those promises we made won’t be fulfilled. I’m sorry that who I’ve become is not enough for you. You deserve the world, and for a long time I though I’d be the one to give you it all. I thought we would be the couple years down the road that everyone would envy. And we were that couple for those months we were our best. Sometimes God or whatever “higher power” you believe in has other plans. I’m sorry that with the way my life has become I had fallen short on making you my priority. You deserve a girl who will give up everything to be with you. Where I am in life right now, I sadly can’t do that. I’m also sorry to your parents. They trusted me with you and your heart and I let them down. I am forever thankful to them and how they welcomed me into your family and I hope one day they can forgive me for leaving the family.

It is nice to be that hopelessly in love, but sometimes reality sets in, and you have to take a step back and realize that if you are still arguing/fighting about the same things and nothing is permanently being solved, it's best to end things. It's best to give the other person a chance to be with someone who can and will give them all that they deserve. The last thing I want to say to you is that I never want you to question when I said “I love you” or told you how much you mean to me. Every time I said those words to you I meant it and a part of me will always love you.