Your Mind Is Like A Garden

Your Mind Is Like A Garden

A mind garden is all about weeding out the bad, and nurturing the good in your life.
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Around this time last year I was sitting with my therapist and he told me something that would change how I viewed myself and how I treat the world around me. He told me:

Your mind is like a garden. In this garden, there are flowers, trees, shrubs, any kind of plant you want or like, growing there. However, there are also weeds. The flowers and trees and other plants represent the positive aspects of your life. These could be people, experiences, jobs, whatever that is for you.

The weeds, are negative aspects of your life. These could also be people, experiences, jobs, or whatever that happens to be for you.

Now, it is up to you to take care of your garden. No one can do this for you. You ultimately have the power to choose how your garden is taken care of. If you choose to let the weeds take over and choke out all of the flowers and trees, then that is what will happen.

The same will happen to you in life.

Or you can choose to weed your garden. There is a catch, though, to weeding your garden. See, when you weed a garden, you do not just weed the garden and then sit back and relax and enjoy the view for the rest of your life. On the contrary, you have to continuously weed the garden. Otherwise, new weeds will continue to grow and devour your garden.

You can weed the garden as soon as you see weeds start to grow, which will still make for some work, and the weeds still might have hurt to pull out of your garden, but it will not hurt as much as waiting until that weed grows into a giant thistle, with roots so deep you cannot get them out.

Weeds might hurt to pull out of your garden too. Some have those thorns that poke, but pulling a weed might still be better than allowing it to choke out an entire flower.

However, it is up to you what you choose to get rid of and what you choose to keep in your garden. No one can make those decisions for you, although some people might come along and try to tell you what is a weed and what is a flower and what you should leave and what you should keep, but ultimately, only you can make that choice, and only you can pull that weed.

As we near the end of the year it may be a good time for some personal reflection and a look into our own mind gardens. We may find that our gardens are healthy and happy and thriving. Or, we may discover there are some weeds that need to be pulled.

Cover Image Credit: Anthony Tran

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I Woke up In The Middle Of The Night To Write About My Fears, They're Worse Than The Dark

One minute I'm thinking about what I want to do after college next thing I know I'm remembering the time I tried talking to a boy and choked on my spit.

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It is one of those nights when I am tired, but for some reason, I can't seem to fall asleep. So, what do I do? I pull out my laptop, and I begin to write. Who knows where it will lead. It could lead to a killer article or something that does not make sense. I mean it is almost 2 A.M. In my mind, that's pretty late.

Anyways, let's do this thing.

Like many people, thoughts seem to pile up in my head at this time. It could be anything from a time when I was younger to embarrassing stories to wondering why I am "wasting" my time somewhere to thoughts about the future. All of these things come at me like a wildfire. One minute I'm thinking about what I want to do after college next thing I know I'm remembering the time I tried talking to a boy and choked on my spit.

The thought that is going through my mind as I write this is about the future. It's about the future of my fears. Let me explain. I have multiple fears. Some of my fears I can hide pretty well, others I am terrible at hiding. My fears may seem silly to some. While others might have the same fears. Shall we start?

1. My career

I don't know where to begin with this one. For as long as I can remember, my consistent dream job has been working in the world of sports, specifically hockey. A career in sports can be and is a challenging thing. The public eye is on you constantly. A poor trade choice? Fans are angry. Your team sucks? "Fans" are threatening to cheer for someone else if you can't get your sh*t together. You can be blamed for anything and everything. Whether you are the coach, general manager, owner, it does not matter. That's terrifying to me, but for some reason, I want to work for a team.

2. My family

Julie Fox

Failing with my family, whether that be the family I was born into or my future family, it terrifies me. I have watched families around me fall apart and I have seen how it has affected them. Relationships have fallen apart because of it. I have heard people talk about how much they hate one of their parents because of what happened. I don't want that.

3. Time

This could be a dumb fear. I'm not sure, but I fear time. With every minute that passes, I am just another minute closer to the end. With every day that passes that I am not accomplishing goals or dreams I have, I am losing precious time. It scares me to think of something horrible like "What if I die tomorrow because of something horrific?" or even worse, "What if I don't make it through today?" It's terrible, I know.

4. Forgetting precious memories

When I was younger, I had brain surgery. It is now much harder for me to remember things. I am truly terrified that I am going to forget things I will want to hold close to me forever, but I won't be able to. I am scared I'll forget about the little things that mean a lot. I'm afraid of forgetting about old memories that may disappear. I'm worried that I'll forget about something like my wedding day. That might seem out of this world, but it's a reality for me.

5. Saying "goodbye"

I hate saying bye. It is one of my least favorite things. Saying bye, especially to people I don't know when I'll see again, is a stab in the heart for me. I love my people so much. I love being around them. I love laughing with them. Thought of never having a hello with them again scares me beyond belief.

6. Leaving places that I love

Alright, let me start off by saying this- it takes a lot for me to love a place. It has to feel like home. It has to make me feel comfortable. It has to be a place I can go to and be myself. Thankfully, I have had and still have multiple places that are like that. I have also had places I could not wait to leave. I think that's why leaving places I love is so hard and something I fear so much. I am afraid I'll never get that place "back", for lack of a better term. I guess, I'm trying to say, it's like a piece of me is leaving as well.




These six things are just the start of my fears. Some of these might seem "dumb" or "ridiculous" to you, but for me, it's my life. These are the things that I think about the most. These are the things that feel like a pit in my stomach. These six things are parts of my life that mean a lot to me.

Cover Image Credit:

Emily Heinrichs

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Being Unhappy Doesn't Necessitate Suicide

Sure, I'm upset, but that doesn't mean i'm thinking about killing myself.

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I've been upset lately. We all have our moments of uncertainty. Days of being insanely happy, days of being remarkably sad. In my opinion, feelings have a wider range than the color spectrum.

My summer hasn't been great. I haven't gone on luxurious vacations, gone to many events, and I haven't seen many friends. When I came home for the summer, I came home to a new house, a new city, and a hefty distance from all my friends. Before I'm attacked for my words, I definitely don't believe that happiness is measured by wealth, the ability to do everything you want, or the number of friendships you have. However, I'm a hardcore extrovert who thrives around people and keeping myself busy. And to put it simply, my summer has been absolutely boring. I have no friends in my new city, I have my small summer job, and that's about it. I barely leave my house and I feel so out of my skin from hiding from the world all summer.

I've tried to make friends here. But let's face it, how awkward is it going to things alone? Knowing absolutely no one leaves every "door of opportunity" slammed shut. Our generation makes it almost impossible to make friends. Glued to our phones, we've become anti-social by being media-based social.

Lately, I've been feeling like I don't have a voice. Feeling like my voice doesn't matter. As an oxymoron as it is, feeling like my feelings don't matter. Since I don't have many friends, I've relied on my family. What a disappointment. I knew college was going to change my relationship with my family, but I didn't anticipate how much. My parents are divorced, and as much as I love them equally, this summer it was easier to stay with my dad with my classes and job. All my friends live in my mom's city an hour away, and I didn't account for how difficult managing my social life with my work life would be.

This summer all I've been is sad. I haven't had the constant smiles and adventures, I've been bored out of my mind. Maybe that's my fault. My fault for not finding a hobby, not being in the right places to make friends, or finding something to do with my newfound time. Somedays I wonder what the point of everything is if all I'm going to be is bored. I've had fights, I've had my tears, I've had struggles with the friends that I never get to see. It's been a tough year, and plenty of things have taken a toll on my soul.

I may be upset, and some days feel like things aren't worth it. That doesn't mean I want to end my life. That doesn't mean I want to kill myself. As sad as I am now, I know that there have been so many days that rays of sunshine pour out of me, days that I wouldn't give up for the world, days that I'm so grateful for all the things I have in this life. I may be upset now, but don't shove my feelings in a category that carry so much weight in this world.

Cover Image Credit:

Pexels

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