In a countless number of conversations, I’ve heard how difficult it is to find a relationship among millennials. “Cuffing” (as it is typically called for some) seems almost impossible to do. For women, it’s the alibi of struggling to find a suitable partner, whereas for men the issues are often rooted in loyalty. However, no matter the spectrum on which you stand I think it’s safe to attest that communication within this generation is lacking.

In dating and interactions with humanity (in general), I’ve found that expression is often confused as communication. The two are not the same. Although they’re attached, they stand alone. To communicate is to exchange information which is ultimately to understand and in return articulate. Whereas expression is the action of making one aware of your thoughts.

If you haven’t noticed the trend yet on social media, here it is plain and simple: we live in a generation that is proficient in expression but deficit in communicating in terms of understanding what others express in return. We’re a generation of relentlessly speaking our truths (which is more than what some of those who came before us can say). We stand by our truths whether they are accepted or not. Our dilemma lies in learning how to listen when other’s truth offend ours.

As I’m sure you’ve heard relationships are “give and take”, “50-50” if you will… it’s the art of listening and speaking. Learning when to effectively do one or the other, and in some situations both. It’s the art of learning to emotionally “show up” for those you’re in relationship with, especially in times that their truth isn’t naturally resonating with yours. It’s much more than “this is how I feel” moments of expression and closing the conversation to leave the other to deal with the aftermath, but staying around to continue the dialogue for as long as needed.

Communication isn’t child’s play, but an ongoing process of trust and vulnerability. Trust in those around you to honor your vulnerability rather than shame or abandon you for it, and trust that you too will secure the same for others. It’s for the courageous that are willing to extend themselves to grow and development by way of human interactions. It’s for those who believe in celebrating the intricacies of humanity and our individualized entities.