Millennial Lives Aren't As Perfect As They Look

Millennial Lives Aren't As Perfect As They Look

Jealousy is that green eyes monster you see in my eyes, reflecting back at your own demons.

Have you ever looked at someone and wished you had what they had?

That you looked the way they looked?

Were you ever so jealous of someone it twisted your heart into something ugly?

Twisted you into someone ugly?

I have. I'll be the first one to say I get jealous. I think it's a personality trait. I'm an extremely jealous and territorial person, but I learned to control it.

Why did I learn to tone it down and control it?

Because I was the victim of someone's jealousy.

Ugly to me, isn't a physical thing. Instead, it's something that lives inside people. It's that darkness that clouds your mind and the anger that burns your soul black.

It's a choice you make when you go out of your way to hurt someone out of spite and jealousy. That makes you ugly, not your physical appearance.

Jealousy makes people ugly. It's one of the few things I believe can make someone truly ugly. I believe that everyone is beautiful, in one way or another, until they start twisting themselves into being jealous, cruel people.

I saw myself becoming that. It was not good. I didn't want to be ugly like that. Instead, I changed my outlook.

People can come back from being ugly. There is a line, though. If you cross it, you may be stuck being a twisted version of yourself. The version of yourself that hides the brightness and light that lives inside you. The darkness can easily over take the light if you let it.

A sign you're becoming ugly is when you look in the mirror and can't recognize yourself because you have that look in your eyes. The look of anger and hate. You can't hide it, no matter how hard you try. People can see it. I can see it. And if they can't see it, people can sense it.

I'm not even saying that someone being jealous is the only cause of being ugly.

Other people can cause it too.

Once you are hurt or begin to mistrust someone, the darkness finds a crack to slip inside. Another person is almost always the catalyst. But from there, it's your choice to let that darkness reside in you or for you to exorcize it out.

Jealousy is the main cause of the darkness I found myself in. As I mentioned before, I have been at the other end of someone's jealousy and It wasn't pretty. Though it sucked, it showed me the flaws in my own self and how I didn't want to end up.

You can be jealous because I'm skinny, despite eating so very unhealthily.

Never mind the fact that I work out and dance constantly, worrying if I gain one pound I won't be as alluring as everyone says I am, due to my size.

You can be jealous I'm young and have my whole life ahead of me.

You're jealous I have the opportunities you didn't have or didn't take advantage of. Despite me working my ass off for everything I have, and overcoming more than you can even imagine.

You're jealous that I'm so successful at the age of 22, and the only place I have to go is up.

I'm editor-in-chief of Odyssey at Ursinus and your jealousy won't shame me. I'm damn proud of all I have done.

You're jealous that I'm smart and clever. Sometimes intelligence is not a gift. I don't work to have a 3.9 GPA, even though I go to a challenging private school, but know that I'm bored out of my mind. I wish I had to study like all of my friends because then I'd have friends to hang out with.

And finally, you can be jealous of my relationships because people are attracted to me. I always joke and say it's my face. I just have a friendly face, that people feel safe confiding in me. But know, after being labeled the mom of the group, I have no one to confide in and have to hold everything inside. Just know, my relationships aren't as perfect as they seem.

So you see, maybe the things you are jealous of have their down sides. Maybe you should appreciate what you have and cut out the things that are turning you ugly with jealousy. Maybe you should stop looking at my life, comparing it to yours. Maybe you should just be happy with all that you have.

Jealousy is that green eyes monster you see in my eyes, reflecting back at your own demons. It's the monster that whispers sweet evils into your ear. It's the monster that can take you over the line and you won't ever come back.

So you better watch your back, because those monsters slip through even the smallest of cracks.

Everyone feels jealousy but if you let it control you, it'll twist you into something you aren't.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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Yes, I Made My Cat An Instagram

I follow my cat around like her own personal paparazzi.

Yes, the headline you just read is true. I have in fact created an Instagram account for my cat. I know, it does sound a little crazy. What respectable person does that? Well, I do. A bored college student home for winter break for six weeks.

Now, in the beginning, it started as some crazy idea that came to me while I was lying in bed on my phone at two a.m. Velvet, my cat, was sleeping on my bed and I looked at her and thought to myself, ‘She is just as cute as any other pet account that I follow on Instagram,’.

So, her Instagram account, @velvet.blackcat, was born. I posted the first picture, one I had taken when I was packing for my bags for college, and introduced her to the Instagram world. I followed some accounts that also featured black cats, turned my phone off and went to sleep.

Now, this might be the part of the story where the next morning I turn my phone back on and was ecstatic to see Velvet had all of these new followers. No, that is not the case. She had garnered a few likes on her first picture, and a couple of followers.

Some might think that I’m exploiting Velvet’s cuteness just for followers. While she is very adorable, I genuinely enjoy taking artsy pictures of her each day, editing, and posting them. Her follower count has steadily risen and it’s enjoyable to interact with different accounts that are also dedicated to their pets.

While most who read this will think it’s a little crazy, I’ve found it as a fun sort of hobby to do during the day. I like looking at the different cats and dogs whose owners have also created Instagrams for them and they post daily on what they have done that day.

It also allows me to spend more time with Velvet, more so than I already do. I follow her around the house now and wait for her to do something cute like play with her toys, roll over, or fall asleep in a cute position.

I’ve also found a new outlet for creativity as well. I found that I enjoy the process of taking pictures. I like finding the how the light reflects off different objects in the room to create a unique looking picture.

I enjoy taking on a different sort of role of writing. It’s fun and creative and enjoyable. It’s amazing to see all different types of animals that have owners who love them so much.

I encourage anyone who has an animal to start an Instagram for them. It’s a different way to spend time with your favorite furry friend and to connect with other people from around the world. Take some time out of your day to spend with your pets, take cute pictures, and don’t be afraid to lay on the ground and play with them!

Cover Image Credit: Ariana Pelosci

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Don't Let Fear Stop You From Branching Out

“Sometimes what you’re most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.”

A few days into the new year and the new semester, and I’m still sticking with one of my resolutions: to branch out. I feel like my first semester was a lot of trying to get settled in and somewhat testing the waters. It was strictly school work and just hanging out with a couple of friends.

However, I felt somewhat disappointed that I didn’t meet more people, and I realized that if that’s something I want to happen, I have to do more than sit in my dorm; therefore I made branching out a goal of mine for the spring semester. Honestly, I am so excited about it.

My roommate and I are basically in this together, and one thing we decided to start doing is work out classes and yoga. This obviously does not sound appealing, but I was willing to try it. I knew that this wasn’t anything I was interested in, but I felt like for the sake of my resolution, it definitely couldn’t hurt.

But I was nervous. I didn’t like the thought of working out in front of other people. I don’t like people seeing me in a state where I am somewhat vulnerable. I was actually nervous to take a class. I didn’t want to have to experience the judgement of anyone else in the room around me. I finally I thought, “You know what? Who cares. You are trying to better yourself “

So, I went. I experienced some of the worst pain ever, but it was so worth it. I realized it was something that I enjoy doing and made me feel good. I didn’t feel a single look of judgement. I felt a room of people supporting each other that are working toward the same/similar goal. It felt nice that all of us had a common interest. We talked to people, we laughed, and we ached.

I tell this story to say that you shouldn’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone. A quote by Robert Tew says, “Sometimes what you’re most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.” He couldn’t be more correct. Though I am applying this to something as simple as taking a yoga class, this can apply to many situations in life. We so often find fear holding us back.

I find myself often referring back to lessons my dad taught me. One of the greatest lessons he ever taught me was not to let fear restrict me. I was such a scared child. I was scared of everything. I missed out on many opportunities because of the fears that ate at me. My dad reminded me that I will never know unless I try, so I began to try. I began to see success and growth in my life and my confidence.

I still find myself being scared at times. Most of the time, it’s over something silly, but it is something big to me. If it holds me back, it’s a big deal. Your fears are a big deal, but you can overcome them.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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