Long ago, marriage started out mostly as an economic arrangement. Later on, this evolved into a way for people to display their love and commitment to one another. And today, Millennials are completely shifting the definition of marriage by either not marrying at all or marrying much later.
Currently, the average age for the first marriage is 27 for women and 29 for men. That is a seven-year increase from the 1960s and this difference is continuing to climb. According to a recent report from the Urban Institute, an unprecedented number of millennials will remain unmarried through age 40. On top of this, it's predicted that the marriage rate will drop to 70%. That around 10-20 percent lower than the previous three generations.
Should we be worried about this trend?
Getting married comes with many benefits: economic security, reduced likelihood of poverty, tax-related benefits, and children are much better off when raised in a two-parent household. Many studies showed that men in particular benefit even more in other ways.
Why this is happening?
The biggest culprit behind these trends is that it's much harder for millennials to establish a firm economic foundation. Many of them see marriage as a "capstone" rather than a "cornerstone" of one's adult life. Ironically, research shows that the capstone approach can actually lead to worse preparation for marriage, giving less marital satisfaction.
The discouragingly high divorce rate is possibly the second reason. Many millennials have been touched by this phenomenon in a profound way. They are products of their own parent's divorce, they have many friends with divorced parents, and they read about divorces all the time online.
Do millennials still want to get married?
Despite the falling marriage rate, a 2013 Gallup survey found that more young singles still strive to get married compared to those who don't want to. Officials at the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia agree with this finding. One thing we can take away from this is those who get married and those who stay married is changing a lot. But, the wish to marry in and of itself hasn't changed much.
Does marriage have an image problem?
Has marriage lost its modern appeal? Perhaps marriage, as it's traditionally interpreted, is no longer adequate for modern society? We already recently redefined marriage, as it's no longer between a man and a woman. We might have to take it a step further to recover from what many Millennials view as an image problem.
Many believe that marriage needs to be redefined. For example, we need alternative options that are also embraced by society. However, nobody came up with any possible ideas as of yet. What we find is that most millennials cohabitate and may even do so with multiple partners. Many of those not living with a partner, are often still living with their parents because of financial hardship. And let's not forget that wedding prices these days also don't exactly encourage marriage.
Reasons millennials delay marriage
Each millennial might have slightly different reasons for delaying marriage. But a common mindset among this age group is that you don't need a partner to be happy in life. Plus, it's somewhat hard to be in a relationship with a group of people that admit being rather self-absorbed.
With the use of technology, there's more choice than ever now. Millennials can easily find loads of singles online, which adds to the mentality that people are easily replaceable. This overabundance of choice can lead to passivity.
Finally, the last reason is that millennials have trouble with the concept of commitment as a whole. Many take their time to have sex with multiple partners, have friends with benefits, or just see if they can endure living with another person. And in today's world, this isn't viewed as reckless behavior, it's just a way to "test drive" their partner prior to committing to marriage.
Maybe millennials got it right, maybe they're just learning from the mistakes of previous generations. Today there are many other, socially acceptable options in regards to relationships. But what if we went too far? We won't know for sure until the post-millennial Generation Z reaches their 20s, or perhaps the generation after them.