Midterms: A College Freshman's Worst Nightmare

Midterms: A College Freshman's Worst Nightmare

Is this the end?
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Fall is in the air, crunching red and burnt orange leaves lying on the ground around you and that sweet fall breeze running through your hair as your headed to class with the sun shining down on you and you smile because you feel a glimpse of warmth. Then you realize you're headed to your first college midterm exam ever. The horror starts to set in, you start to recite every single term you studied the night before and tears start to slowly stream down your face. Reality has now set in.

This may be entirely unrealistic for some but so far this is how midterms have gone for me. Well, maybe not quite this dramatic but definitely somewhere along these lines. I came from a high school where my midterms consisted of challenging my creativity outside of the classroom with a school-wide project during the week. For senior year I got to recreate classic movies from the 60s and 80s with my best friends. Don't get me wrong, I am in no way complaining because it was the highlight of my high school testing career. However, little did I know the following year midterm week would consist of countless hours, minutes, and days put up in a crowded library with way too much caffeine pumping through my system and losing so much sleep the bags under my eyes are heavier than my backpack. Nothing could've prepared me for this.

I think I have made a total of five calls to my mom within the past week consisting of nothing but sobs and "I miss you"s because I feel like I'm failing every class, my laundry isn't done, I'm running out of snacks, coffee doesn't even have an effect on me anymore, and I smell like a wet dog because I spend so much time studying I forget to change or wash my hair. Thank god for dry shampoo, am I right ladies? I apologize again Mom if I scared you, I promise I am mentally stable.

Then the dreaded first midterm comes along. I look like a psycho as I rush to class scouring through the piles and piles of notecards I spent studying for the past 2 weeks religiously. Not even kidding, I could recite my notecards better than I could recite the "Our Father". I finally get in my seat, slightly shaking from a mix of nerves and caffeine overload. Then the test is finally sitting in front of me. The bright white paper and its hundred of words staring deep into my soul waiting to see how good or bad I do. Who knew how intimidating a piece of paper could be? After finishing my 2-minute long staring contest I begin and suddenly it starts flowing out. All of those hours, minutes, days in the library and the hundreds of words scribbled on color-coordinated notecards start to prove their worth. It worked! Driving myself insane, losing sleep, forgetting to eat, and the endless amount of time committed to learning every possible fact is finally starting to pay off. It makes sense! Hell yeah, the answer is A! You know that shoulder can horizontally abduct in the transverse plane, I'll show you if you don't believe me I've done it at least a thousand times this week!

So maybe I was wrong with my original depiction of midterms because in hindsight there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Yes I may have felt like a sleep-deprived maniac for two weeks but let me tell you, hard work certainly pays off. Excelling on a test that you stressed over for hours a day has to be one of the most rewarding feelings in the world. Midterms in high school and college are definitely two entirely different worlds, but what may seem impossible is certainly possible.

So to all my fellow college freshman, we made it. We survived midterms. We have officially adulted and excelled, or not, but we did it. Finals may be another story, but when it comes time to that I hope the odds are ever in your favor.

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To The Girl Struggling With Her Body Image

It's not about the size of your jeans, but the size of your heart, soul, and spirit.

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To the girl struggling with her body image,

You are more than the number on the scale. You are more than the number on your jeans and dresses. You are way more than the number of pounds you've gained or lost in whatever amount of time.

Weight is defined as the quantity of matter contained by a body or object. Weight does not define your self-worth, ambition or potential.

So many girls strive for validation through the various numbers associated with body image and it's really so sad seeing such beautiful, incredible women become discouraged over a few numbers that don't measure anything of true significance.

Yes, it is important to live a healthy lifestyle. Yes, it is important to take care of yourself. However, taking care of yourself includes your mental health as well. Neglecting either your mental or physical health will inflict problems on the other. It's very easy to get caught up in the idea that you're too heavy or too thin, which results in you possibly mistreating your body in some way.

Your body is your special, beautiful temple. It harbors all of your thoughts, feelings, characteristics, and ideas. Without it, you wouldn't be you. If you so wish to change it in a healthy way, then, by all means, go ahead. With that being said, don't make changes to impress or please someone else. You are the only person who is in charge of your body. No one else has the right to tell you whether or not your body is good enough. If you don't satisfy their standards, then you don't need that sort of negative influence in your life. That sort of manipulation and control is extremely unhealthy in its own regard.

Do not hold back on things you love or want to do because of how you interpret your body. You are enough. You are more than enough. You are more than your exterior. You are your inner being, your spirit. A smile and confidence are the most beautiful things you can wear.

It's not about the size of your jeans. It's about the size of your mind and heart. Embrace your body, observe and adore every curve, bone and stretch mark. Wear what makes you feel happy and comfortable in your own skin. Do your hair and makeup (or don't do either) to your heart's desire. Wear the crop top you've been eyeing up in that store window. Want a bikini body? Put a bikini on your body, simple.

So, as hard as it may seem sometimes, understand that the number on the scale doesn't measure the amount or significance of your contributions to this world. Just because that dress doesn't fit you like you had hoped doesn't mean that you're any less of a person.

Love your body, and your body will love you right back.

Cover Image Credit: Lauren Margliotti

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My First Year Of College Wasn’t Great And That’s Okay

I didn’t adjust as well as I thought I would, but I made it.

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Everyone always raves about how much they loved their freshman year of college. The independence, the parties, meeting all these new people from different places. It's a big milestone in your life. But not everyone has an amazing first year. And I'm one of those people.

Don't get me wrong. I was so excited about college. Finally getting to be on my own, experiencing all these new things. I even met people in my class before we moved in. And the first month was a blast...but then it wasn't anymore.

Eventually, I slid into this “funk", you could say. I was depressed. I never wanted to leave my bed. Some nights, I didn't even wanna eat dinner. And soon, my friends noticed but soon just stopped inviting me out.

At first, they still would, even though the answer was always no. But I guess they got bored and tired of me always saying no.

Soon, I didn't feel like I even had any friends and at one point, I even found myself debating going home to avoid being alone in my room all weekend. I would force myself to make plans, but found myself not wanting to go out because I got ignored every time I did. It wasn't worth it.

I was homesick, isolated, and just wanted to fit in.

When the year finally came to an end, I couldn't be happier. But now that it is over and I'm home, I realize how much I miss the people that were there for me. The people that came into my life unexpectedly, but it was hard for me to really recognize they care about me.

I absolutely hated my freshman year of college. Yeah, it started out good and I found my sorority, but I never felt like I was wanted anywhere. I felt so alone. I became so incredibly isolated and distant and it took a drastic toll on me as a person.

But in spite of all that, I realize that maybe that's how it was supposed to happen. Because I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and it will all play out.

This being said, my first year might not have been what I thought or hoped for. But I can truly say I am excited to see what my next year holds.

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