You were my best friend. A day without seeing you or talking to you wasn’t right. My favorite person to do life with. We went everywhere together and spent a portion of every day together. We bought each other food and made each other laugh our heads off on an almost daily basis. We made so many good memories together, but with the good, also comes the bad. We cried in each other’s arms on multiple occasions when bad things in our lives happened. We screamed at each other and fought about the most petty things almost every week. But you were my best friend and I loved you. I never wanted to lose you, but I never expected you to treat me the way you did.

You hurt me... more than I think you know, or will ever know. And I hope you never, ever have to experience the pain my heart endured throughout the time I knew you. You shattered my trust and absolutely ruined the person that I had built myself to be before I met you. I’ll never be able to forget all the hurtful things you said to me in the heat of the most awful moments. The way you acted towards me when everything was said and done, and after everything I had sacrificed for you. It was appalling, and something I’ll never be able to erase from my memory. I thought I knew you, even better than I knew myself, but I was wrong.

I hated you for so long. I was so mad and angry at you for hurting me, for ultimately doing what I never thought you would do to me. But I’m fine.

You taught me that I was worth more than I originally thought. You taught me how strong of a person I actually am, and how people do need me in their lives. You taught me how to love someone unconditionally. You also taught me that if a person means something to you, you do whatever it takes to be there for them... no matter if that’s sitting in a parking lot crying together for two hours or laying in bed talking about life until 4 a.m. But you also taught me that sometimes things are conditional... that other people in your life are worth more to you than I was. You taught me that I was strong, but also very weak and that my opinion didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. You taught me how easy it was to lie straight to the faces of people you “loved”. But the most important thing you ever taught me was how to hate.

I don’t hate you. I hate what you did to me; the fact that you could just walk out of my life the way you did and continue living yours like nothing ever happened. It’s like I really never meant anything to you at all! But you taught me so much about life and how to not trust people with my whole entire heart anymore. You were my best friend... but you left me... and you shattered me and everything we had built together, and for that, I’ll never forget you.