The Message My 15-Year-Old Self Needed To Hear

The Message My 15-Year-Old Self Needed To Hear

"Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now."
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"But in life you'll do things greater than dating the boy on the football team, but I didn't know it at 15."

Taylor Swift couldn't of said it better, granted she has a song for anything that could possibly go wrong in life but "Fifteen" is just too relatable. If there's anything I have learned from graduating high school and moving onto the next phase of my life, it's that high school was made to be way to big of a deal. To all my girls going through it now, I can promise that whatever you're going through isn't the end of the world. I know it feels like it is, I've been there. I've begged my mom to let me leave early because I couldn't deal with the drama that day, I've walked into that big lunch room feeling like I have nowhere to turn, I've had my heart broken by that boy we swear at the time is "the one", i get it. My mother has taught me a very important lesson; give yourself the night to be sad, cry, scream, whatever you need, but wake up the next day and move on. It's a new day and you can either choose to be sad or you can choose to be happy. I asked some of my best girls what they would go back and tell their 15 year old self and the words they said were so good that I'm going to share it with you all.

You will survive that breakup. Oh man, that end of your world break up you never think you're going to get past, you will. It sounds cliche but time really does heal all wounds. That pit in your stomach starts to go away and with each passing day you realize who you are and how much you're worth until one day you wake up and it just doesn't hurt anymore. Remember the key words of Tiffani Thompson (my mother), you choose to be happy or you choose to be sad. Choose happy.

Quality over Quantity. At 15, you think you have to be friends with everyone in the world. Even if in your heart you know they're not the kind of people you should surround yourself with, you do anyways because it feel's nice to be included. Y'all, don't surround yourself with bad people. If I could go back a few years and tell myself one thing it would be that. Stop trying to make friendships with the wrong people, I could of saved myself from a lot of bad situations if I would of just relaxed and stopped feeling like I had to be doing something 24/7 or I wasn't "cool." Your true friends will come, I know mine did. Be patient and don't lower your standards just to fit in.

Be nice without expecting it back. You will go through life constantly hurt if you believe everyone has the same heart as you. Girls, being mean shouldn't be a trend. There is no reason to ever intentionally make someone feel bad about themselves, and you will look back a few years later and regret the way you treated someone. "Be the type of person that makes everyone they come across feel perfectly okay with being exactly who they are." Strive every day to go out of your way to compliment someone because everyone could use a pick me up. You just might tell someone exactly what they needed to hear at the right time. Be a good person, it takes a lot more effort to be mean than it does to be nice.

Be strong, be courageous and be a little wild. No, I don't mean go out and make poor decisions you'll regret in the morning, I just mean that you do need to live a little or college will be a very scary place for you. High school seems like the end of the world, but it's really just the beginning. I've learned so much but I still have such a long way to go. To my girls, it's all going to be okay.

"I've found time can heal most anything, and you just might find who you're supposed to be, I didn't know who I was supposed to be, at 15."

With love,

Taylor Thompson

Cover Image Credit: Snapchat

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To The Girl Who Had A Plan

A letter to the girl whose life is not going according to her plan.
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“I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.” - William Ernest Henley

Since we were little girls we have been asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” We responded with astronauts, teachers, presidents, nurses, etc. Then we start growing up, and our plans change.

In middle school, our plans were molded based on our friends and whatever was cool at the time. Eventually, we went to high school and this question became serious, along with some others: “What are your plans for college?” “What are you going to major in?” “When do you think you’ll get married?” “Are you going to stay friends with your friends?” We are bombarded with these questions we are supposed to have answers to, so we start making plans.

Plans, like going to college with our best friends and getting a degree we’ve been dreaming about. Plans, to get married as soon as we can. We make plans for how to lose weight and get healthy. We make plans for our weddings and children.

SEE ALSO: 19 Pieces Of Advice From A Soon-To-Be 20-Year-Old

We fill our Pinterest boards with these dreams and hopes that we have, which are really great things to do, but what happens when you don’t get into that college? What happens when your best friend chooses to go somewhere else? Or, what if you don’t get the scholarship you need or the awards you thought you deserved. Maybe, the guy you thought you would marry breaks your heart. You might gain a few pounds instead of losing them. Your parents get divorced. Someone you love gets cancer. You don’t get the grades you need. You don’t make that collegiate sports team. The sorority you’re a legacy to, drops you. You didn’t get the job or internship you applied for. What happens to you when this plan doesn’t go your way?

I’ve been there.

The answer for that is “I have this hope that is an anchor for my soul.” Soon we all realize we are not the captain of our fate. We don’t have everything under control nor will we ever have control of every situation in our lives. But, there is someone who is working all things together for the good of those who love him, who has a plan and a purpose for the lives of his children. His name is Jesus. When life takes a turn you aren’t expecting, those are the times you have to cling to Him the tightest, trusting that His plan is what is best. That is easier said than done, but keep pursuing Him. I have found in my life that His plans were always better than mine, and slowly He’s revealing that to me.

The end of your plan isn’t the end of your life. There is more out there. You may not be the captain of your fate, but you can be the master of your soul. You can choose to be happy despite your circumstances. You can change directions at any point and go a different way. You can take the bad and make something beautiful out of it, if you allow God to work in your heart.

SEE ALSO: To The Girl Patiently Waiting With An Impatient Heart

So, make the best of that school you did get in to. Own it. Make new friends- you may find they are better than the old ones. Apply for more scholarships, or get a job. Move on from the guy that broke your heart; he does not deserve you. God has a guy lined up for you who will love you completely. Spend all the time you can with the loved one with cancer. Pray, pray hard for healing. Study more. Apply for more jobs, or try to spend your summer serving others instead. Join a different club or get involved in other organizations on campus. Find your delight first in God and then pursue other activities that make you happy; He will give you the desires of your heart.

My friend, it is going to be OK.

Cover Image Credit: Megan Beavers Photography

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I'm Not Feelin' 22, But I'll Make The Most Of It

The reality of becoming another year older and the stress that it may bring.

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Birthdays are all about being the center of attention, - birthday wishes from friends and family, and celebrating another milestone in your life. People go out of their way to buy party favors, set up parties, and buy gifts just to make someone feel special on their birthday. However, some people dread their special day because of anxiety and depression. This past weekend was my 22ndbirthday, and although I'm usually excited for my birthday, this was the birthday I had been dreading.

Birthdays are inevitable. Once you reach past the age of 21, everything seems to go downhill, or at least I think so. Once I realized I was going to be 22 last Sunday, I realized the new responsibilities and norms that come with turning this age. I am a Junior at the University of Arizona, should be a senior, and most of my friends are younger than me. With most of my friends graduating this year at the age of 22, I can't help but feel bad that I will be graduating at the age of 23. After being at a large university for three years, I have felt "behind" because of my age and academic standing. Being the oldest of my friends brings a sense of anxiety out in me and pressure that I should be graduated by now.

Another issue I have with birthdays at this age is the expectation of certain milestones that I have not accomplished yet. With social media being such a large part of our society today, seeing so many different people on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter posting pictures of what they are doing every second of the day, it's hard not to feel bad if you are not up to par with others lives. Some people are having babies, while others are going to medical school, where do I fit in?

Although birthdays bring some sense of negativity to me, I think that they should be celebrated in a positive light. My best friend, Colleen, knew I was feeling down about my birthday and wanted to help me feel better about turning the big 2-2. She bought balloons, silly string, and letter banners just to decorate our apartment to make me feel excited about the day. She bought me the most unique presents that only a best friend would know I would have wanted. At the end of the day, we went to my favorite restaurant and with the help of Colleen, my day had turned around.

While you may catch the birthday blues at some point in your lifetime, there are ways to change your attitude on the day. You may hear from someone from the past wishing you a happy birthday that can make you smile, or receive a gift from a family or friend that you had your eye on in the store and they knew you had to have it. Don't compare yourself to others when it comes to birthday plans, live the day how you would like and spend it with the people that matter most to you.

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