At first, I denied writing this article.

"No one needs to hear my perspective on it."

"No one deserves to know what's going on in my life."

"I don't need to be this vulnerable."

But then I thought, it's not just my life. It's millions of people's. And I have a voice and platform to try and explain what people and I feel constantly (on varying levels). People typically shy away from talking about mental health due to the negative stigma that comes along with it, and it's time for that to stop. So here it goes.

A common word you might hear daily: anxious. A common phrase you might say:

"That's so depressing."

A common background you might associate PTSD with, war. These are all generic scenarios one might think of when hearing "anxiety" or "depression" or hearing about PTSD. However, my mental illness is not generic. It's not something that can't be summed up perfectly. And I have a feeling the 42.5 million other adults diagnosed with mental illness(es) can contribute to this statement as well.

Anxiety is not me simply getting nervous.

It's not just worrying about how I did on a test. Anxiety is something that lives with me, sleeps, eats, breathes with me. Anxiety is me worrying about messing up little things that will lead to greater struggles. Anxiety is me worrying about the past, what I'm doing in the present, and how it will affect my future, all. At. Once. Overwhelming, huh?

While you might think everyone worries about these things, yes, maybe. It's possible. But do they worry about them to the degree that I do? Thinking about the "mistake" I made for the next three hours? The next day? The next week? Do their physical actions mimic their anxious/upset behavior? I physically cannot stop focusing on anything but the "mistake" I made unless I am biting my nails. Or pulling at my hair. While it may look like I'm bored to you, I'm physically showing you I'm anxious through body language, whether I'm aware of it or not. I'm uncomfortable due to the heaviness that is always on my mind.

Now your next guess: Just stop worrying. That's a great suggestion! Said no one with anxiety ever. I don't choose to worry. It's a chemical imbalance in my brain that makes me, and will not stop.

Depression is not me being lazy.

Depression is not wanting to hang out with friends because you want to watch your latest show. Depression is not being sad about a bad grade on a test for a day or two. Depression is heaviness. Depression is like drowning. Sometimes you feel everything and nothing at all. It's confusing. And no, I can't just "be happy", but thanks for trying, I guess.

Ever notice why people get especially bitter in the winter? "Oh but it's Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Year's and you're with family!" Okay? Is that supposed to magically cure me? I am happy to spend time with my family and make memories continuously. However, the lack of Vitamin D from the short hours of the presence of the sun, and the cold, and the darkness that surrounds you constantly add to the depression. To me, when I think of depression, I think of cold and dark. Ring a bell?

Depression is surrounding, enclosing, painful, confusing, hurtful, frustrating... The list goes on. So no, I am not lazy. I am not isolating myself purposefully. I am not ignoring you. I am depressed. Some days I physically can't get out of bed. I am depressed for reasons I may or may not know.

My PTSD is not from a "fight with a friend."

"Post-Traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a mental illness. It often involves exposure to trauma from single events that involve death or the threat of death or serious injury. ... Something is traumatic when it is very frightening, overwhelming and causes a lot of distress."

"...exposure to trauma". Let that word sink in. "...events that involve death or the threat of death."

I've faced threats of death, experienced pain, physical, mental, sexual, and verbal violence at the ages of 16 and 17 from someone I trusted deeply at the time. To explain it, no one would understand even a glimpse of this dark world I lived in for two years, and the world I live in following the pain it has caused me.

There's not one day I don't go without thinking about my past. There are triggers everywhere I look, and some days are worse or better than others. Just think of everything you look at and having some negative thought associated with it. That is my everyday life, to say the least.

Add anxiety and depression to PTSD, and your world is a constant revolving door of feeling sorry for yourself, wondering what you did to deserve this, wondering how or if you'll escape from these feelings, or if they'll ever subside. You finally feel you're at a high and something brings you back down to remind you where you actually are.

"From the outside looking in, they can't understand it. From the inside looking out, you can't explain it."

I am not looking for pity. I am looking for just slight empathy, just to work with me, the effort to want to help or understand, or even just lend an ear to listen.

Mental illness is a real thing.

If someone is reaching out, listen. If someone is crying out for help, answer. If someone confides in you, don't break their trust.

Be kind to everyone you meet, for they're fighting a battle you know nothing about.

If you or someone you know is struggling with depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, PTSD, bipolar disorder, dementia, ADHD/ADD, OCD, schizophrenia, or any other mental illness, I encourage you to not be afraid to reach out and ask for help. Someone is always there to help or listen.

If you are in crisis, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or contact the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741741.