Coming to college, I, like many other freshmen, thought that I could have a fresh start from anything that bothered me during high school. Of course, there was the great realization that I could surround myself with awesome people and possibly pick up some new and healthy habits. Unfortunately, to my surprise, this fresh start didn't include a relief from my daily mental health issues.

Hindsight is always 20/20, and I've realized that I was a fairly anxious kid growing up. No parent wants to hear their child say that, but I've done my best to turn my anxiety into something I have, rather than letting it control me. The summer going into my sophomore year I was diagnosed with panic disorder, generalized anxiety disorder and depression, so, needless to say, learning that these issues don't run my life has taken me a lot of practice.

I have never been one to actively share my emotions, so I have found it difficult to express how I'm feeling on a day-to-day basis. It can be hard to talk about these issues especially when others view anxiety as a simplistic, short-term emotion that comes before a test, or depression as a week of minor sadness. Mental health is much more complicated and includes things far outside the realm of just these two disorders.

Things were put into perspective for me last March when a girl I knew from my school committed suicide. I attended her funeral, surrounded by understandably emotional adults and teenagers, especially when they realized that they would see her body. I never understood the glamorization of mental health until that day, when people finally connected the dots that mental struggles can result in exactly what they were witnessing.

Fast forward to now, I still think back to that day in order to remind myself that my thoughts are only a tiny piece of me. It's a continuous process that includes days where I am alive and thriving as well as days where putting my laundry away is an exercise in itself.

Although society is beginning to bring awareness to what it's actually like to live with a mental disorder, we also need to recognize that it isn't all bad. People that struggle don't constantly walk around thinking about the fact that they are bipolar or have dysthymia. Even though I have had days where I'm consistently reminded of my challenges, there have been many times where I forget that I've ever struggled in the first place.

To anyone currently dealing with or recovering from a problem related to their mental health, you are not ill nor are you alone. I personally have never liked hearing that I'm "mentally ill" because to me, being ill means that I will get well soon. However, recovery in terms of anxiety and depression is anything but a linear process.

We don't have to pretend like our issues with mental health only affect certain aspects of our lives - let's be honest, anxiety disorders have a way of changing your way of thinking about everything. My friends sometimes have a hard time understanding why I feel the way I do, and sometimes explaining it to them still doesn't do the trick. It's definitely okay to not be okay, and it's okay if not everyone understands how your diagnosis affects your life.

A couple of weeks ago, I ordered a computer sticker that has the National Suicide Hotline phone number on it. Although I won't know if it does exactly what I intend it to, I put it on my computer to urge people to continue fighting their fight. Sometimes all anyone needs is a sign to keep pushing, and it's okay if your only option is to call. Mental health is complex and beautiful and difficult and ugly, and no matter what that thing is that keeps you going, all that matters is that you have something.

Mental health disorders don't discriminate, but neither does the ability to overcome them.