Over the past seven or so months, I have struggled with my mental health way more than I ever have in my entire life. Going into my senior year of college, that was something I never expected. I expected to have an overall happy and busy senior year. Of course I am busy, but happy? I don't know. I have moments of happiness, but am I happy?
When I made my list of things I wanted for my senior year, being depressed wasn't on that list. Being overwhelmed was not on that list. Turning down time to spend with friends because I don't have the mental or the emotional capacity to hang out was not on that list.
What was on my list was new adventures, taking care of myself physically, mentally, and emotionally, and being on top of all of my tasks. Sure, I have had some new adventures with new and old friends, but I am not as happy as I used to be and I am so overwhelmed with even the smallest of tasks given to me.
I am overwhelmed. I am mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted. I don't have the emotional or mental capacity to accomplish the things on my list. Sometimes the smallest, most basic task or event can send me over the edge and put me into emotional distress.
I've been sleeping more than usual; over the past week it's like anytime I am back in my room, I sleep. As much sleep as I have gotten in this past week, I am still exhausted. It is an exhaustion I can't seem to shake. Sleep can't help when you are that kind of exhausted.
Even in this funk, I want to preserve and thrive and be happy. I want to invest my time in the people and things that bring me joy; that means my family, my friends, thrifting on Saturdays, and coffee dates.
I want to take better care of myself mentally, physically, and emotionally; I'm going to start keeping a journal and go to the gym consistently 3-4 times a week. Life is too short for me not to take my life into my own hands.
I have so much I want to be able to celebrate in the next year; I'm graduating college, starting my first big girl social work job, and welcoming the arrival of some sweet new babies in my family. I want to take better care of myself spiritually; that means consistently making time to read my Bible and just spend time with God.
Will these things fix my mental health? Probably not, but will they allow me to cope better with the struggles of my mental health? I sure believe they will.
I also feel like I need to mention that what helps me, might not be what helps someone else and that is okay. Find the things that help you cope in a healthy way and chase after those things.