In light of Valentine's Day, I've been thinking about my own (nonexistent) love life. Now, when I say nonexistent, I mean it wholeheartedly. I'm the girl my guy friends turn to and ask "You got any single friends?" Without fail, my answer is "No, I am the single friend."

I come from a very conservative Christian background and many of the people I know got married fairly young. A decent number of my friends from church are either engaged, married, or expecting. It's not that you're expected to get married young, but oftentimes that's how it ends up happening. Men will return from their mission and be engaged or married within a year. So as a nineteen year old who has never been in a serious relationship, I feel like I'm falling behind.

I've been in exactly one (one month long) relationship in my life, which is what inspired me to write this article. When the boy in question was breaking up with me, he made a point of telling me that I "don't have everything put together." Needless to say, that did not go over well with me at all.

First of all, NO ONE has everything put together. We try to act like we do, but in reality we're all struggling in our own ways. It's what makes us human.

Second of all, who was he to tell me that I don't have everything put together? Granted, I don't have everything put together, but it still was not his place to make that judgement. I'm the only one who can decide if I have it "put together." This statement of his particularly set me off because I may still be struggling, but I'm doing significantly better than I was a year ago.

As someone with bipolar disorder, I have major reservations when it comes to dating. I tend to form emotional attachments rather quickly, which can sometimes get me into trouble. Like I said, I've only been in one official "relationship" before, but it's not the only time I've ever come close to dating someone. I've "talked to" (for lack of a better word, I hate that phrase) a few boys, only to be ghosted or led on. It's become something of a pattern in my life and let me tell you, it doesn't feel good.

When I get ghosted, or when a guy leads me on for a while only to tell me he's not interested or whatever his excuse is, I start doubting myself. What makes me so undatable? Am I not attractive/smart/funny enough? No, it's probably the bipolar disorder. That, plus my anxiety and constant need for reassurance.

I begin to worry that it's because I'm too needy, too "moody," too much to handle. I shut myself off to people because I assume that that's how things are going to end--with them finding some flaw, some deal breaker, and deciding that it's not worth the effort of being with me. I get so scared that my mental health will be a deal breaker. But why should that be the case?

Answer: it shouldn't. No one should have those doubts about themself, especially over things that can't necessarily be controlled. I can't control the fact that I have anxiety and bipolar disorder, just like people can't control their height or their eye color. It would be stupid not to date someone because they have blue eyes and you want someone with green eyes, would it not? So why miss out on dating an amazing person just because they struggle with their mental health?

Just because someone is struggling with something that you don't understand doesn't mean that they're not worth your time. Take the time to understand them, love them, and appreciate them, even if it seems like you're taking a risk. Who knows? It could be the best risk you'll ever take.