Men, Women Are Not Your Barbie Dolls

Men, Women Are Not Your Barbie Dolls

You can't dress us up and make us look how you want us to all the time.

This is a PSA to any man that feels he has the right to dictate what a woman should look like. This idea that woman have to look a specific way in order to be attractive needs to stop. I'm not saying men don't get it too (Ladies: Men are not supposed to be your Ken doll)... but being that I am a woman I am going to speak on the female experience.

Society and the media often determines what is considered attractive. Right now the fad is large butts, small waists, and women who look plastic. Plastic surgeons are probably living their best lives right now because of all of the women who want to look like a Kim K or Amber Rose. Women who believe that the way their bodies were made is wrong and would rather fit in with the current fad than accepting themselves. Diversity is becoming lost in a wave of every woman wanting to look the same. It's honestly ridiculous. Society and the media is a whole other monster that I am not gonna try to tackle right now...

What I will talk about is men who after buying into society's idea of perfection think they can tell a woman how to dress, wear her hair, or any other thing that quite frankly is none of their business.

After hearing different men's (not all men are like this I know) I decided to educate on what a man has no right to dictate

1. The way I wear my hair.

Number one men I have learned after listening to some of you talk that you don't know anything about hair. Most of you are completely clueless. You want it to look a certain way but then complain about the things it takes to make it that way. Or you say you want natural but what you describe isn't natural. Let me help you: Keep your hair comments to yourself. Unless the woman looks absolutely crazy or something, you don't need to give your opinion. If she's wearing it a certain way she must like it. Or she's doing it out of necessity. I don't have to explain what's going on with my hair because I'm pretty sure you don't care. It's mine whether I grew it or bought it and I'm gonna wear it in a way that makes me feel confident.

SIDE NOTE: If you are my man and there is a specific hairstyle that I have worn in the past you really liked, as long as I really liked it too I'll get it again. But it comes down to my decision. Not yours.

2. The clothes I wear.

Honey boo boo child, if you are not buying them, you don't have a say in what I wear. I will wear what makes me feel comfortable and you will accept that. There are exceptions to everything but that's another article entirely. The point I'm trying to make is that if I bought it, I'm wearing it. Point. Blank. Period.

SIDE NOTE: Again if my man were to politely suggest that there is something he likes seeing me in and I too agree then I'll wear it. But in no way is that controlling my outfits it's a suggestion.

3. The shape of my body.

If you're not attracted to what I look like that's completely fine. I'm not gonna be mad at you. So if you're not attracted to what I look like, why do I need your opinion on how I look? Oh, I don't? You'd be correct. I look how I look. That is between me, the food I eat, and the lack of or the amount of exercise I do. Let me worry about my stomach rolls. My stretch marks, my cellulite, my anything. Let me just say this. I hope men don't get too stuck on plastic surgery made bodies that they forget what an actual body looks like. I hope women don't either. It's easy to beat yourself up if you don't have something someone else has or vice versa but if you're comparing yourself to someone who made themselves look like that then you can never win.

SIDE NOTE: Pointing out weight gain or loss is not something that is necessary. If you're not into it, you can leave or you can help by politely suggesting couples exercise or cooking meals. But do not tell me not to exercise cause you like this, or to exercise cause you don't like that. It's not gonna end well for you.

4. The makeup I wear or don't wear.

When I'm standing in front of the mirror putting on foundation, filling in my eyebrows, applying highlight... the last thing I'm thinking about is will a man think I'm cute. Don't get me wrong, it's not a bad thing to dress up or put on a little bit of extra makeup to impress someone but the thinking that anytime I apply makeup to my face it's for your (the man's) benefit, needs to get outta here. And on the flip side, if I don't wear makeup one day, that's my choice too. Makeup takes a lot of time and energy and if I don't have it that day to do a full face I shouldn't have to.

So fellas, listen, I know that there are women out here who are guilty of the same things but don't be a part of the problem, please. Women are not Barbie dolls. We are not perfect, with the perfect hair and bodies and skin. We work at it every day and not for you. We wear our hair different ways and wear makeup and certain clothes not to make you feel good but for our own benefit. It's our body and so we do with it what we want. Again I'll say if you are my man, I will take into consideration the things you say but you should not control anything I do. I'm sure you wouldn't want me to try and tell you what to do. If you're not my man well than honey boo boo child, why is your negative opinion evening leaving your lips? I'm not saying that these views are held by all women, what I am saying is that men if you somehow believe that you are our maker and therefore should determine our outer appearance, check yourself cause you don't have that right.

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Ladies, Nike Shorts And Leggings Are For The Gym, Nowhere Else

If you are becoming a grown woman, you need to dress like one.

Every night, I spend one hour preparing myself for the following day.

I start with a shower, usually after I workout (I like to shower up to three times a day). I, then, massage my face with an exfoliate or cleansing brush, followed by a mask, usually a sheet or charcoal, or occasionally a hair mask. While my mask is drying, I pick out my outfit, usually a balance of comfy and trendy for the morning (and usually two others backup outfits). After I was my mask off and end the night with yoga, I slump into an 8-hour slumber until I wake up and work out again.

Yes, I know I have a problem. You couldn’t find a more vain or egotistical person in this world that could trump my inflated head. I may have a slight vanity problem, but I feel that my vanity outweighs the laziness of just not caring.

Ladies, it’s time to grow up.

It’s time to take off those leggings, ratty high school football T-shirts, and neon orange Nike shorts, and put on some big girl panties (not just the frilly hot pink VS kind). Having attended a private school for most of my life, I was shocked when I saw how people dressed to school, as if they were about to run laps in between periods. High school can’t even compare to the fashion monstrosities I see at school: the formals shirts, Nike Shorts, White Converse that look like they have seen one too many frat parties, yet with faces stilled caked with chunky mascara and sloppy brows. These outfits were not only sported in classes and social events but also philanthropy events and job shifts!

Ladies, I understand life is uncomfortable. Period weeks leave you feeling five months pregnant and on the verge of crying because your jeans are pinching your bloated stomach. I understand that it’s hard to juggle gym, class, sports, and a healthy sex and social life. But you can try harder. You can do so much better than what you have going on right now. Jeans need to be worn instead of leggings. Nike shorts and ratty T-shirts belong at the gym. End of story.

SEE ALSO: Actually, Ladies, Wear Whatever You Want, Whenever You Want

My mother would coo to me, as she put barrettes in my hair before school, that “in order to feel successful, you must look successful”. Every final exam, presentation, discussion, speech, class president election, swim team banquet, I would be dressed in my business suit and men’s oxfords. I dress for the success I wanted to have. If you want to be treated like a grown ass woman, you have to act (and dress) like one too. My life example is a little radical; I do not think you should pour yourself into how you look, because you will just exhaust yourself. Throw on a pair of jeans or an easy dress to class. Wear that sweet polyester suit. Dress up just to feel confident and successful in your day to come, not just your coming career.

Feel beautiful every day, just save the leggings for lazy days (or better yet, wear nothing at all).

Cover Image Credit: essihelppi / Instagram

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