So What If Men Have To Change Their Behavior In The Wake Of The 'Me Too' Movement?

So What If Men Have To Change Their Behavior In The Wake Of The 'Me Too' Movement?

Women have been changing their behavior for years.

Ever since the "Me Too" movement sparked, I've heard countless men ask the silliest questions: "Are we even allowed to hug women anymore?"

"What if she mistakes my kindness for harassment?"

"Why should I live in fear of being accused?"

The men who ask these questions are extremely uninformed about the movement and what it's trying to accomplish. The one thing that stood out to me the most about their panic was the fear of having to change because of the movement. And honestly, why shouldn't they?

Women across the nation often have to change their behaviors around men, especially if they seem dangerous. Instead of simply walking down a street, women often have to clutch their keys between their fingers and take note of each person they pass, trying desperately to avoid eye contact.

Women have to constantly cover their drinks at bars out of fear of being roofied. Women have to go to the restroom in groups because leaving one woman alone could end badly. Women have to dress a certain way around certain men because seeing too much skin on a lady makes them uncomfortable. Women have to constantly show kindness to male strangers with the fear that they may attack if they're not thanked for holding a door open.

Women have to adjust their everyday behaviors to ensure they aren't killed or raped by a psychopath because it happens so often, so why shouldn't men have to adjust their behaviors as well? Make it equal!

Instead of allowing men to get away with intense rape fetishes, leading them to commit dangerous acts, they should be humiliated for it. Instead of controlling the way women dress, men should seek therapy for their constant public arousal at clavicles and shoulders.

Instead of thinking that a woman who doesn't smile or say thank you for opening the door is a "disgusting bitch," maybe just shrug it off and carry on. Instead of constantly hugging every woman they see, maybe men should just give them handshakes like they do with other men. Instead of catcalling women on the street or following them around, men should mind their own business.

What many men don't realize is that the "Me Too" movement looks to exterminate the extreme. Yes, men can still say "hello" to their female coworkers, as long as it's not followed up with "your ass looks great in that skirt."

I know that not all men are crazy like this, but if every man helped end this cycle of toxic and dangerous activity, the world would be much better off. It is the men who we really need to step up.

So men, when you hear your friend say something creepy about a woman, call him out on it. Shame your friends for "joking" about rape. Shame them for proudly calling strangers who owe them nothing "bitches" and "whores" when they don't smile at them. Shame them for stalking women online after they were turned down. Shame them for constantly making women sex objects, and let them know that it's not funny.

It's time for men to change their behavior for the better.

Cover Image Credit: Instagram

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An Open Letter To My Boyfriend's Mom

A simple thank you is not enough.

Your son and I have been dating a while now and I just wanted to thank you for everything.

Wow, where do I start? Ever since the day your son brought me into your home you have shown me nothing but kindness. I have not one negative thought about you and I am truly thankful for that. I first and foremost want to thank you for welcoming me with open arms. There are horror stories of mothers resenting their son's girlfriends and I am blessed there is no resentment or harsh feelings.

Thank you for treating me like one of your children, with so much love but knowing exactly when to tease me.

Thank you for sticking up for me when your son teases me, even though I know it’s all in good fun it's always comforting knowing you have someone by your side.

Thank you for raising a man who respects women and knows how to take responsibility of mistakes and not a boy who is immature and doesn’t take responsibility.

Thank you for always including me in family affairs, I may not be blood family but you do everything you can to make sure I feel like I am.

Thank you for letting me make memories with your family.

There is nothing I value more in this world then memories with friends and family and I am thankful you want and are willing to include me in yours. I have so much to thank you for my thoughts keep running together.

The most important thing I have to thank you for is for trusting me with your son. I know how precious and valuable he is and I won't break his heart. I will do everything I can to make him happy. This means more than you could ever imagine and I promise I will never break your trust.

The second most important thing I must thank you for is for accepting me for who I am. Never have you ever wished I looked like another girl or acted like another girl. You simply love and care for me and that’s all I could ever ask. Every person in this world is a unique different person and understanding that means a lot.

The third most important thing I must thank you is teaching me how to one day in the future treat a potential girlfriend that I may interact with as a mother. I am not a mother, but I one day plan to be. If I ever have a son it is because of how you treated me that I am able to be a humble loving mother to this new face that could one day walk into my door. How you have treated me has taught me how I should one day be in the future and I thank you for that.

This may seem all over the place but that’s how my brain gets when I try and thank you for everything you have done for me. It’s all so much and even the little things are so important so I promise my scattered thoughts are all with good intentions and not meant to bombard you. I just want to get the idea across to you that you are important and special to me and everything you do does not go unnoticed.


Your Son’s Girlfriend

Cover Image Credit: Christian Images and Quotes

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I Bruised A Boy's Heart To Fix My Own

You don't need a boy (or anyone for that matter) to make you feel validated or okay with yourself.


There is always going to be a time in a person's life where they have to play the bad guy. For me, this was when I chose to break a boys heart in order to heal my own.

For most of my adult life I have been in a relationship. I fell in love with a boy when I was 18, and that was that. It wasn't all rainbows and sunshine, but I was happy. Recently we split for the final time, nearly 13 months later. The moment I knew I was leaving him behind, my heart shattered.

I remember lying in my bed with my older sister handing me tissues as I sobbed into my pillow. The only boy I had ever loved with all my being was gone, and I was the one who told him to leave.

A few months passed and I thought I was okay again. I hadn't thought about him in awhile, I stopped bringing him into conversations and I could finally listen to some of the songs he showed me when we were together. In my eyes, I was ready to jump back into the dating world; but boy, was I ever wrong.

One day a random boy slid into my DMs on Instagram and we hit it off. Within a week we were hanging out regularly and it seemed like things were going towards us starting a relationship. That's when I learned that he worked and was friends with my ex. The discovery of this caused a ball of anxiety to form in my chest; I was scared of the whole thing starting over.

We talked it out, and we came to the conclusion that I wasn't ready to date, but I was ready to be more than friends. Friends with benefits is what we decided on. This wasn't my first rodeo, not by far. A few days of texts were gone through before we saw each other again, this time specifically to get in, hookup and get out.

Everything went fine, just how we had thought it would. That was until I made the mistake of telling him jokingly that I left someones house at 3am a few days before. He connected it to the fact I had slept with someone else, which I had. He asked if that was the case and I told him yes. At that moment I felt a shift in the room and he looked me in the eye saying, "you know who you sound like? You sound exactly like him." (referencing my ex). Weirdly, my heart didn't sink, it just accepted that fact.

The next day I got texts from both him and my ex telling me we were done. Oddly, I was okay with this. In the end I lost both boys, but I gained something much more valuable; the understanding of my emotional state.

This experience taught me that I am not ready to be back in the dating pool, and that is okay. You don't need a boy (or anyone for that matter) to make you feel validated or okay with yourself. I made the error of trying too soon and came out bruising someone's heart. Sometimes in order to heal yourself you end up hurting someone else in the process. So to that boy, I am so very sorry, but thank you for teaching me to be honest with myself even when it hurts.

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