You are the reason that women are scared to walk alone at night. You are the reason that women feel the need to cover up when it is blazing hot outside. You are the reason that women feel the need to walk on public streets, only to avoid solitude and vulnerability.

You make women feel unsafe when they walk past construction sites and bars. You make women uneasy when they have headphones in because they can’t be as aware of their surroundings and need to look out for inappropriate, unwanted gestures from men they will never see again in about 3 seconds. You make girls not even in their teens yet wonder if that is how men should be treating women.

And to what cost? So that you can gawk at a woman for your own unwanted pleasure? So that you can dream, for only a few seconds, that she will give you even an ounce of attention? Or is it so that you can show off to the people around you? Catcalling and whistling, or even just the silence of an uncomfortably long stare, give men the happiness that they earn for and the discomfort that women try to escape.

To the men who take it one step further, to the men who slow down their cars, turn around and make illegal u-turns just to pass you again, or stick half of their bodies out the windows when they drive by you, you disgust every single one of us. To the men who physically turn around in their cars while driving, not only endangering themselves but those around them just to get one last peek, you are the reason that we are scared. You are the reason that we run home, or keep pepper spray on us, or have 911 dialed on our phones the second we see your cars whip around. You may not have any intention past staring and getting the attention of a woman, but women don’t know that. Women don’t know your intentions.

I wish I could say that this was a rare experience. I wish I could say this was something that only came about a few years ago. The sad reality is that your mom has gone through what you’ve gone through, and her mom has gone through what you have both gone through. It didn’t start recently, and at this rate, it won’t end soon.

Every women has had the urge to yell “f*ck you!” to the men making them uncomfortable. Every woman has had the urge to flip them off, roll their eyes, or even throw a tantrum in the middle of the streets. Instead, most women just walk away. Most women turn around, or keep their phones on them for safety. Why? Because most women are scared. Yelling at a guy seems easy, sure. But no one knows how these men will react. It is a power structure that has been built in our society. Men do what they want, and women stand afraid.

To the women brave enough to stand up for themselves, I salute you. To the women who refuse to stand silent, you have the courage that most women wish that they had. And for that, I thank you.