In the media today, we are constantly plagued by countless men, famous or unknown, being accused and/or convicted of sexual assault. While sexual abuse of women is undoubtedly an issue, what is often left out of the long list of sex scandals is that men can be taken advantage of too.

We live in a world where men are expected to be tough and emotionally strong all of the time, so people find it difficult to be a victim of any type of abuse let alone sexual assault.

A few days ago, I attended an event at a local library about The Bristlecone Project, a campaign that uses videos, pictures, and biographies of male survivors of sexual abuse. There also was a panel discussion where three survivors shared their stories and two prevention educators who discussed the stigma around men who have experienced sexual abuse.

After the hour and a half presentation, I left the room with tears in my eyes, hope in my heart for those who have been abused, and the desire to take away all of the pain that people hold in for so long.

The first story presented was that of a man in his 60s who was sexually taken advantage of at a young age by an adult of his church. He said that he blocked out the years of abuse, so he can’t even accurately say at what age it started. In the place where he was supposed to feel safe and protected, he was sexually abused.

The second male to tell his story was 29-years-old. This story was shocking in a different way because this victim’s perpetrator was his mother. He expressed that when he was a preteen, his mom would dress promiscuously, ask him sexual questions, and force him to watch pornography with her. He said that because of this experience, he struggles connecting with people and creating relationships. In the place where he was supposed to feel loved and protected, he was sexually abused.

The final survivor who spoke was only 14-years-old and told his story about how he was taken advantage of from the age of 8 until 10 by his older half-brother. He said that the person he once trusted and looked up to stole his innocence.

Initially, to cope, he began sneaking alcohol and repressing all of his emotions. At the age of 13, he began giving talks about his story in hopes to raise awareness and let victims know that it is not their fault. In a place where he was supposed to feel entertained and cared for, he was sexually abused.

These three survivors, along with 16% of other males, were victims of sexual abuse before the age of 18. As a society, when we talk about sexual abuse and sexual assault of a female, but the less-told story is that of men being abused.

Society has conditioned us to believe that men, highly motivated by their sexual appetite are the attackers and provokers, but we forget that men also can feel the shame, guilt, and embarrassment of someone who has been taken advantage of.

Males can be victims. Male victims have voices. Male victim’s voices need to be heard.