Meet the Fifth Grader Taking the Political World by Storm

Meet the Fifth Grader Taking the Political World by Storm

500 words on my encounter with the boy who may very well become the next president.
10
views

You've heard of Donald Trump. You've heard of Hillary Clinton. You've heard of Ted Cruz. Maybe even you've heard of Bernie Sanders. But this election cycle, get ready for Hayden Thompson, the United States' new rising star in politics.

Thompson, 10 years old, is a fifth grader at a local elementary school. I first heard of him when stopping to return supplies to a teacher I knew, when he made the remark that I knew would cement him as serious competition to the current presidential hopefuls. "I know you are, but what am I?" asked Hayden, in response to a classmate who had called him, and I quote, a "doo-doo head." This level of wit was unprecedented! The first thing I thought of was that this child had a future in politics!

But why wait? Ever since the American public stopped caring about the actual issues behind candidates and more about what comebacks and personal mockeries they could make of each other, the floodgates opened for insult masters to gain a future in politics. We all remember the ill-fated campaign of Joey Polansky, tragically cut short by the pants-wetting incident. But with serious contenders with dry pants behind the podium now, it seems that the future is guaranteed to Hayden Thompson.

Which isn't to say that Thompson doesn't have some similarities to current frontrunners. He agrees with Trump's stance about building a wall between our country and Mexico. "That should stop illegal immigrants, right?" His teacher, shaking her head in disgust, clearly didn't understand politics like this bright young mind. Why do we let morons like her vote when old souls like Hayden obviously understand the world better than anybody with her age and experience?

When asked about the rising popularity of Vermont senator Bernie Sanders, Hayden divulged upon me this pearl of wisdom: "Who?" When I presented him with a picture, he quipped, "He's an old man. Is he going to die soon?" Never before had I seen a young person whose knowledge trumped my very own! It all made sense! Who wants a candidate with years of consistent voting and sticking to their principles when we could have virtual nobodies with untold stories? No matter how many times they've gone bankrupt or jobs they've cut, who looks good on the outside?

Sadly, I was forced to bid adieu to Hayden as he got into his mom's car. I asked him if I could contact him for future interviews, to which I was met with a slam of the car door. I can't fault him, as a god among men such as himself doesn't have to talk to a plebian such as myself if given the choice. I can only hope that no ugly scandals surface, as every candidate with good ideas will surely work out in the end.

Cover Image Credit: Google Images

Popular Right Now

18 Bible Verses That Prove God Would NOT Be 'Pro-Life'

Stop using the Bible as an excuse to take away women's rights.

5474
views

"Abortion is WRONG because God (the highest authority) says so! Not because I say so, or "religious" people say so or the government says so...because the CREATOR OF ALL HUMAN LIFE SAYS SO."

This argument is bullshit and I'm sick of hearing it, because it just isn't true. All these Christians claim that the Bible and God says that abortion is wrong, and it's clear they've never read the Bible. Have you ever seen them use a biblical verse to validate their claims? Yeah, me neither. And you know why? BECAUSE THE BIBLE IS NOT PRO-LIFE. They pick and choose vague verses to attempt to back up these ridiculous claims, completely ignoring the damning evidence that the Bible, and therefore God, actually supports child murder, infanticide, and abortion.

Unlike pro-lifers, I'll actually provide some evidence:

1. Numbers 31:17 "Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him"

2. Deuteronomy 2:34 "And we took all his cities at that time, and utterly destroyed the men, and the women, and the little ones, of every city, we left none to remain"

3. Deuteronomy 28:53 "And thou shalt eat the fruit of thine own body, the flesh of thy sons and of thy daughters, which the Lord thy God hath given thee, in the seige, and in the straitness, wherewith thine enemies shall distress thee"

4. 1 Samuel 15:3 "Now go and smite Amalek, and utterly destroy all that they have, and spare them not; but slay both man and woman, infant and suckling, ox and sheep, camel and ass"

5. Isaiah 13:16 "Their children also shall be dashed to pieces before their eyes; their houses shall be spoiled, and their wives ravished"

6. Isaiah 13:18 "Their bows also shall dash the young men to pieces; and they shall have no pity on the fruit of the womb; their eyes shall not spare children"

7. Ezekiel 9:6 "Slay utterly old and young, both maids, and little children, and women: but come not near any man upon whom is the mark; and begin at my sanctuary. Then they began at the ancient men which were before the house"

8. Hosea 9:14 "Give them, O Lord: what wilt thou give? give them a miscarrying womb and dry breasts"

9. Hosea 13:16 "Samaria shall become desolate; for she hath rebelled against her God: they shall fall by the sword: their infants shall be dashed in pieces, and their women with child shall be ripped up"

10. 2 Kings 2:24 "And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the Lord. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them"

11. Psalm 137:9 "Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones"

12. Numbers 5:21 "-here the priest is to put the woman under his curse- "may the Lord cause you to become a curse among your people when he makes your womb miscarry and your abdomen swell"

13. Hosea 9:16 "Ephraim is smitten, their root is dried up, they shall bear no fruit: yea, though they bring forth, yet will I slay even the beloved fruit of their womb"

14. Psalm 135:8 "He it was who struck down the firstborn of Egypt, both of man and of beast;"

15. Psalm 136:10 "-to him who struck down the firstborn of Egypt His love endures forever"

16. 2 Kings 6:28-29 "And the king said unto her, What aileth thee? And she answered, This woman said unto me, Give thy son, that we may eat him to day, and we will eat my son to morrow.So we boiled by son, and did eat him: and I said unto her on the next day, Give thy son, that we may eat him: and she hath hid her son"

17. Leviticus 26:29 "And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat"

18. Jeremiah 11:22 "Therefore thus saith the Lord of hosts, Behold, I will punish them: the young men shall die by the sword; their sons and their daughters shall die by famine:"


Stop using your religion to try and push propoganda that "God says abortion is wrong because it kills innocent children." Clearly your God doesn't care about killing children. There is more than enough proof that the Bible and God are NOT pro-life. Stop acting like you're good Christians upholding the values of God when you clearly haven't picked up the Bible and actually read it. God doesn't agree with your backwards thinking. Maybe try do your research before spewing your religious bullshit to try and take away women's rights.

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

When Words Are Not Enough

Sometimes you just need to be.

68
views

Life is a roller-coaster of ups and downs. We all desire easy fruitful lives where no one ever dies and no one ever leaves. Instead, we suffer through hardships and great trials that test our faith. These conflicts often leave us worn down and feeling helpless. This is the time when words become a languid breeze, going through one ear and out the other. This is what you should do when words are not enough to satiate the pain you hold in trembling hands.

Focus all your energy into just being. No one expects you to get over the tragedy that occurred in your life, so don't force yourself. Just eat, breathe, and sleep until you feel up to doing normal tasks. Whatever circumstance that has stolen your breath and turned your life upside down won't go a week in a couple of days or a week. Wounds like yours don't go away instantly; instead, they take time and nurturing. Sometimes it's best to keep a sore covered but in some circumstances, know that seeing someone is okay.

These tragedies you face are real, and they try to break down the very substances that make you who you are. Counselors and therapists can help you make sense of the burden you carry. There are many reasons why you might be hesitant to see a therapist, but if the burden you carry becomes too much, a therapist can help you lighten that load.

Know that what you are going through is real and it is tough, but you will make it out on top. You are a survivor and a success story. Every single bad thing that has tried to tear you down hasn't succeeded, and this will be no different. Trust me, your story is not over.

Related Content

Facebook Comments