Meet the Fifth Grader Taking the Political World by Storm
Politics and Activism

Meet the Fifth Grader Taking the Political World by Storm

500 words on my encounter with the boy who may very well become the next president.

22
Google Images

You've heard of Donald Trump. You've heard of Hillary Clinton. You've heard of Ted Cruz. Maybe even you've heard of Bernie Sanders. But this election cycle, get ready for Hayden Thompson, the United States' new rising star in politics.

Thompson, 10 years old, is a fifth grader at a local elementary school. I first heard of him when stopping to return supplies to a teacher I knew, when he made the remark that I knew would cement him as serious competition to the current presidential hopefuls. "I know you are, but what am I?" asked Hayden, in response to a classmate who had called him, and I quote, a "doo-doo head." This level of wit was unprecedented! The first thing I thought of was that this child had a future in politics!

But why wait? Ever since the American public stopped caring about the actual issues behind candidates and more about what comebacks and personal mockeries they could make of each other, the floodgates opened for insult masters to gain a future in politics. We all remember the ill-fated campaign of Joey Polansky, tragically cut short by the pants-wetting incident. But with serious contenders with dry pants behind the podium now, it seems that the future is guaranteed to Hayden Thompson.

Which isn't to say that Thompson doesn't have some similarities to current frontrunners. He agrees with Trump's stance about building a wall between our country and Mexico. "That should stop illegal immigrants, right?" His teacher, shaking her head in disgust, clearly didn't understand politics like this bright young mind. Why do we let morons like her vote when old souls like Hayden obviously understand the world better than anybody with her age and experience?

When asked about the rising popularity of Vermont senator Bernie Sanders, Hayden divulged upon me this pearl of wisdom: "Who?" When I presented him with a picture, he quipped, "He's an old man. Is he going to die soon?" Never before had I seen a young person whose knowledge trumped my very own! It all made sense! Who wants a candidate with years of consistent voting and sticking to their principles when we could have virtual nobodies with untold stories? No matter how many times they've gone bankrupt or jobs they've cut, who looks good on the outside?

Sadly, I was forced to bid adieu to Hayden as he got into his mom's car. I asked him if I could contact him for future interviews, to which I was met with a slam of the car door. I can't fault him, as a god among men such as himself doesn't have to talk to a plebian such as myself if given the choice. I can only hope that no ugly scandals surface, as every candidate with good ideas will surely work out in the end.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Lifestyle

15 Black-Owned Haircare Brands That Cater As Much To Inclusivity As They Do To Your Locks

Championing Black entrepreneurs who make some of our hair favorites.

The haircare industry is vast. With the rise of social media came hundreds of thousands of empowered, niche brands. Single entrepreneurs came out of the woodwork with hair brands that now, years later, have dedicated cult followings.

Of those multitudes of brands, few cater to all hair types, most made without regard for curly or coily hair. These brands, however, are different.

Keep Reading... Show less

Minorities are consistently under-represented in our day-to-day lives, notably in the world of fashion. It's likely you're looking for a way to support black artists. Whether that's the case or you're just a fashion-lover in general, these brands aren't just some of the best black-owned fashion brands — they're some of the most innovative brands of our time, period.

From luxury staples to fun accessories and loungewear, these brands aren't just stunning names you should definitely be following on Instagram, each honors the founder's roots in unique ways with the power of storytelling through artistic expression that manifests in pieces we can't wait to wear.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

10 Home Items You Need For Stress Relief, On The Days You 'Literally Cannot'

Fill your home with peaceful, calming coping mechanisms.

I'd like to think that 2020 is teaching us a lot. Or will teach us a lot. Or will be a story we tell at parties one day. Ultimately, this year has been — and is probably going to continue to be — a bit of a mess.

At the beginning of the year, Australia was on fire and we mourned the death of Kobe Bryant. Then, coronavirus (COVID-19) took our spring and shut us in our homes, inciting panic over public health and sparking political upheaval at every decision made by local and federal officials alike. Now, a week after George Floyd's death at the hands of Minneapolis police officer Derek Chauvin, a nationwide conversation is reignited with protests regarding racial injustice in the United States. There is an enormous amount of tension, hurt, and change that is upon the American people.

Keep Reading... Show less

No matter who you are (an introvert, person of color, member of the LGBTQ+ community, Scorpio, TikToker, you name it), we want to hear what dating in America is like for you and the thoughts you have while working through the talking stage, first dates, navigating love, working through dating problems, etc.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

30 Black-Owned Skincare Brands Every Beauty-Lover Should Know About In 2020

They're not changing the game — they're making a new one.

Skin is something most beauty-lovers obsess over from our early teens, whether our aim is to be glowier, softer, dewier, or poreless, most of us are consistently tracking a new skincare goal. No matter how many products we try, we'll likely forage on with the goal of IRL Photoshopped skin, no matter how many dollars go to them.

The black-founded skincare brands below are the brainchildren of extreme dedication and resilience within the privileged world of beauty. Born out of resilient entrepreneurs overcoming circumstance in a world that does not favor business people of color, these brands have loyal cult followings, and with good reason.

Keep Reading... Show less

A huge part of being in a relationship is communication and, well, part of communication is listening. So, why not have a little fun with your partner and see just how well they know you?

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

7 Ways You Can Safely Attend A Protest In The Middle Of A Pandemic

Wear a mask, but speak up.

It seems like coronavirus (COVID-19) has been around forever now. Life before masks and with public sporting events is a distant memory, hoping to make a comeback sometime this year. We've all had to make some sort of life changes to abide by this pandemic's rules. But that doesn't mean everything has stopped. On May 25, George Floyd died at the hands of Minneapolis police officer Derek Chauvin, sparking a cry for justice and racial equality across the nation.

For the last week, protests have taken place in major cities like New York City, LA, DC, Chicago, Phoenix, Portland, Dallas, and Floyd's hometown of Minneapolis. Many of the cities experiencing protests have begun phased reopening, while others (specifically New York City and LA) have yet to begin phase one of post-coronavirus reopening.

As COVID-19 is hardly in our rearview mirror, there are extra precautions protestors can take as they advocate for justice.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

5 Helpful, Effective Mental Health Resources Specifically For The Black Community

These organizations are qualified, caring, and acknowledging the mental trauma individuals are experiencing.

On May 25, George Floyd died after being pinned to the ground by a Minneapolis police officer. In the last week, protests have sprung up across the nation, demanding justice for Floyd and accountability for police brutality. Social media has also seen widespread conversation regarding Floyd's death, Black Lives Matter, and racism in the United States. Today is #BlackoutTuesday, where many are sharing a single black square to represent unity and support for Black voices.

In light of the heavy climate that our country is facing, it is a safe assumption that many individuals' mental health may be suffering. We wanted to highlight mental health resources and organizations that are Black-owned and prepared to assist in whatever you're going through.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments