I am a different person in the winter months. My tan fades along with my happiness, my confidence, and my security. I go from rocking crop tops and high-waisted shorts to hiding my body and feeling gross, disgusting and lumpy in baggy clothes. I go from enjoying being busy, with a love of running errands, to locking myself away to not even wanting to eat and interact with other human beings.
The lack of sunlight, warmth, and shortened days slowly brings me down to a point where I wish I could hibernate along with many of the other sleepy species of the world.
Most people go through a minor shift in mood during the winter months due to a loss of Vitamin D because of less sun exposure, but people like me have a drop in mood enough to make you a completely different person.
The winter time actually makes me miss when I am a bit hypomanic, honestly. Instead of running around in cute clothes, doing my makeup and enjoying everything I do (even useless errands)— I do the opposite. I procrastinate, I lay low, and I even dread waking up in the morning.
I hate the lack of sun and the fact I need a sweater, sweatshirt, and fully insulated marshmallow coat to run out to my car. I hate the fact it is so dark by 4 p.m. and that I am ready to go to sleep by 4:30 p.m. every day. I hate having to worry about warming up my car because my heater barely works at all. I hate not being able to drive because of the snow, and my tires not being effective on my Sedan.
Well, winter is just an inconvenience.
My music choice turns more negative during the winter. I go from listening to fierce, risky, confidence-producing music to blaring forced-empowering songs; songs that have to remind me how awesome I should feel. I gain so much weight every winter, and never lose the majority of it in the spring and summer. I get so pale, I become so much more insecure with my face and body. Being pale just brings out my stretch marks and cellulite even more.
It kills my desire to go to the gym, study, and even function in society.
All of these things build up and attribute to what I like to call the "Winter Blues". The "Winter Blues" can also be known as Seasonal Depression and also Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).
Like I said before, most people experience some kind of shift in mood during the winter time. It becomes a true issue when someone's ability to function is greatly impaired. It becomes even more of an issue and a true diagnosis when it is repeated for multiple winter seasons.
A few Symptoms:
1. Weight gain.
2. Trouble sleeping (too much sleep or too little sleep).
3. Avoiding favorite activities or people you enjoy.
4. Loss of interest in sex.
5. Changes in appetite.
6. Feeling hopeless.
7. Irritability.
8. Feeling tense or stressed.
9. Sad, guilty, or just down on yourself.
What can you do about SAD?
1. Get as much natural light as possible! The most natural light, the more Vitamin D you have!
2. Reach out for support! Getting help with learning coping skills and talking can help treat the disorder.
3. Do things you love! Participate in meaningful and relaxing activities.
4. Find new activities you love!
5. Avoid sitting for any more than an hour at a time.
6. Remember you are not alone!
Never be embarrassed; you are not alone. Help is a phone call, tear, and smile away.